Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You are planning a short visit to a city where one of your relatives lives. Write a letter to your relative. In your letter: • Explain when and how long you will be in town. • Ask whether you can stay at their home. • Offer to pay for yourself. v.1

You are planning a short visit to a city where one of your relatives lives. Write a letter to your relative. In your letter: • Explain when and how long you will be in town. • Ask whether you can stay at their home. • Offer to pay for yourself. v. 1
The usage of desktops and laptops in the study is increasing day by day. It is often argued by some that, the more usage of these electronic devices has a lot of advantages while others disagree and say they have many detrimental effects. In my opinion, more usage of computers is a positive trend. This essay will cover both areas: advantage is this development, which consist of not only saving time but also various tools, knowledge; and its disadvantages which include health issues and very limited physical interaction. To begin with negative consequences, along with study, many students start playing various games on the computer and this brings many detrimental effects on their health such as pain in the eyes, which is an ill effect of using computers. Secondly, students who study online have very limited interaction with their teachers and classmates. Needless to say, how important physical interaction with teachers are for students for their studies. To illustrate with an example, a recent survey shows that the majority of students agree that they have very limited interaction with their teachers after start using computers and which harm their studies in many ways. On the flip side, many others, including me, argue that computers are good for education. To begin with, it saves lots of time. There are many problems or assignments which can be solved using PC which saves lots of time to them compared to go somewhere and ask for help from someone. Secondly, students can learn many tools available within PC like word, excel or PowerPoint. These softwares help them in the future to grow and to create documents. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from The Hindustan Times, the majority of students agrees that using computers helps them to study and learn new techniques and tools which would help them in their career. To conclude, Some argue that using system can affect health and it decreases communication between between people, although others, have an opinion that it saves time and give opportunity to learn various tools. In my opinion, learning is an essential thing in life which gives career growth so I agree that using desktop and laptop is a positive trend.
The usage of desktops and laptops in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is increasing day by day. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that, the more usage of these electronic devices has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages while others disagree and say they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects. In my opinion, more usage of computers is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend. This essay will cover both areas: advantage is this development, which consist of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
, knowledge; and its disadvantages which include health issues and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited physical interaction.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences, along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
playing various games on the computer and this brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects on their health such as pain in the eyes, which is an ill effect of using computers.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
online have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited interaction with their teachers and classmates. Needless to say, how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
physical interaction with teachers are for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. To illustrate with an example, a recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited interaction with their teachers after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using computers and which harm their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, including me, argue that computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for education. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it saves lots of time.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems or assignments which can
be solved
using PC which saves lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to them compared to go somewhere and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from someone.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
available within PC like word, excel or PowerPoint. These
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in the future to grow and to create documents. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from The Hindustan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that using computers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and learn new techniques and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
which would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in their career.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that using system can affect health and it decreases communication
Possible typo: you repeated a word
between between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, although others, have an opinion that it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and give opportunity to learn various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
. In my opinion, learning is an essential thing in life which gives career growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that using desktop and laptop is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You are planning a short visit to a city where one of your relatives lives. Write a letter to your relative. In your letter: • Explain when and how long you will be in town. • Ask whether you can stay at their home. • Offer to pay for yourself. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts