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A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v.1

A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v. 1
Nowadays, an increasing number of families relocate to another country to start a means of livelihood. Although some people think that it offer great advantages to the children of these homes, others say that it add untold hardship to the children. In my opinion, I believe that this trend is beneficial to the children. The reasons for both views will be discussed in the following paragraphs. There are certain reasons why some people believe that parent's who move their families outside their home country because of work will make life unbearable for their offspring. One common reason is that these children will experience culture shock because they are exposed to a strange culture that is different from the one they were used to. Another reason why they believe that the children suffer from their parents' decision to change abode to another nation to work is that it takes time for them to adapt to the changes such as a new school, house and friends. This put unnecessary pressure on them as they need to survive in their new environment within a short period. For example, a recent survey on children of immigrants enrolled in primary school in Nigeria revealed that most of them get overwhelmed with the rising changes in their environment. This makes them withdraw into their space and if not adequately managed, they become introverts. On the other hand, there are compelling reasons why I believe that children enjoy more benefits when they relocate with their parent to another country to source for a living. Firstly, they have the privilege of learning a new language and way of life. This helps them to understand the diversity of life and develop their social skills. For instance, psychologists believe that the brain of a child develops and process information rapidly. This ability helps them to acclimatise to a new place faster than their parent. Secondly, it helps them to have a logical thinking about issues they might encounter simply because they have been exposed to various kinds of people and understand how to deal with individual temperaments, overtime. In conclusion, despite varying opinions of people on the effect of parent changing places as a result of work on their children, I believe that the fact that it is an opportunity for their wards to learn about the culture of other places and the development of their psyche makes it advantageous to them.
Nowadays, an increasing number of families relocate to another country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a means of livelihood. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it offer great advantages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of these homes, others say that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
untold hardship to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this trend is beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for both views will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs.

There are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that parent's who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
their families outside their home country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of work will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life unbearable for their offspring. One common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will experience culture shock
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are exposed
to a strange culture
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the one they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
suffer from their parents' decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
abode to another nation to work is that it takes time for them to adapt to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
school,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and friends. This put unnecessary pressure on them as they need to survive in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment within a short period.
For example
, a recent survey on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of immigrants enrolled in primary school in Nigeria revealed that most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
overwhelmed with the rising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their environment. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them withdraw into their space and if not
adequately
managed, they become introverts.

On the other hand
, there are compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
enjoy more benefits when they relocate with their parent to another country to source for a living.
Firstly
, they have the privilege of learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language and way of life. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to understand the diversity of life and develop their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, psychologists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the brain of a child develops and process information
rapidly
. This ability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'acclimatise' is British English.
acclimatise
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place faster than their parent.
Secondly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to have a logical thinking about issues they might encounter
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
been exposed
to various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and understand how to deal with individual temperaments, overtime.

In conclusion
, despite varying opinions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the effect of parent changing places
as a result
of work on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the fact that it is an opportunity for their wards to learn about the culture of other places and the development of their psyche
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it advantageous to them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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