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The woman expresses her opinion of the assignment. State her opinion and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v.1

The woman expresses her opinion of the assignment. State her opinion and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
Although lack conversations with neighbours does not grab a headline as frequently as many other social issues do, it does not mean that it is less serious. As a matter of fact, the chronic time pressure continues to be a problem worldwide, which is triggered to lose the art of communication. Despite its sizable influence, many citizens have not yet realized the seriousness of this issue. It is the goal of this essay to outline the potential causes of this dilemma and suggest possible solutions. People should first recognise that interaction is a backbone of the social and interpersonal development. Obviously, by invitingly flexible communication through the online platform, people become estranged from the external "real" world. Having more than a thousand friends in the virtual world, in applications such as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, people losing the connection with natural life (world), even unaware of open-and-shut who lives just in the next apartment. [✨or Facebook users can claim to have hundreds of friends in their network, yet sometimes find it difficult to name half a dozen people that they have actually met in their local neighbourhood. ] Another potential reason is that most of the individuals work round the clock, being trapped in the cycle of monthly salary. By this way, they are trying to ensure themselves a decent standard of living, but neglecting the main values of mankind. Consequently, rampant acceleration of not only human needs, but also technologies prevent to build a strong connection with our surroundings. It’s easy to despair at the scale of the task, but it isn’t beyond humanity to solve it. The best approach to address communication issues is that creating 'neighbourhood sites' by state, in order to raise and debate local issues transparently and provide a channel and encouragement for people to get involved in civic and community issues. Participating in such events at least for half an hour creates a habit of people communicating with their neighbours. But it is not just social groups that can be used to mobilise communities, conducting public holidays and festivals extensively by volunteers together with authorities can have a similar effect. During this occasions people would able leave their daily routine as well as become closer with the dwellers of their region. Thus, despite of any challenges in this way, obviously, the complication can be solved by joint efforts. In conclusion, it is clear that there are several reasons why do people become excluded from society. Tackling this obstacle depends not only on the government's efforts to provide cohesion by establishing public meetings, but also on social attempt and desire to stay connected.
Although lack conversations with
neighbours
does not grab a headline as
frequently
as
many
other
social
issues
do, it does not mean that it is less serious. As a matter of fact, the chronic time pressure continues to be a problem worldwide, which
is triggered
to lose the art of communication. Despite its sizable influence,
many
citizens have not
yet
realized the seriousness of this
issue
. It is the goal of this essay to outline the potential causes of this dilemma and suggest possible solutions.

People
should
first
recognise
that interaction is a backbone of the
social
and interpersonal development.
Obviously
, by
invitingly
flexible communication through the online platform,
people
become estranged from the external
"
real
"
world. Having more than a thousand friends in the virtual world, in applications such as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter,
people
losing the connection with natural life (world), even unaware of open-and-shut who
lives
just
in the
next
apartment. [
✨or
Facebook users can claim to have hundreds of friends in their network,
yet
sometimes
find it difficult to name half a dozen
people
that they have actually met in their local
neighbourhood
.
]
Another potential reason is that most of the individuals work round the clock,
being trapped
in the cycle of monthly salary. By this way, they are trying to ensure themselves a decent standard of living,
but
neglecting the main values of mankind.
Consequently
, rampant acceleration of not
only
human needs,
but
also
technologies
prevent
to build a strong connection with our surroundings.

It’s easy to despair at the scale of the task,
but
it isn’t beyond humanity to solve it. The best approach to address communication
issues
is that creating '
neighbourhood
sites' by state, in order to raise and debate local
issues
transparently
and provide a channel and encouragement for
people
to
get
involved in civic and community
issues
. Participating in such
events
at least for half an hour creates a habit of
people
communicating with their
neighbours
.
But
it is not
just
social
groups that can be
used
to
mobilise
communities, conducting public holidays and festivals
extensively
by volunteers together with authorities can have a similar effect. During this occasions
people
would able
leave
their daily routine
as well
as become closer with the dwellers of their region.
Thus
,
despite of
any challenges in this way,
obviously
, the complication can
be solved
by joint efforts.

In conclusion
, it is
clear
that there are several reasons why do
people
become excluded from society. Tackling this obstacle depends not
only
on the
government
's efforts to provide cohesion by establishing public meetings,
but
also
on
social
attempt and desire to stay connected.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The woman expresses her opinion of the assignment. State her opinion and explain the reasons she gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
438 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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