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You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe w v.2

You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe w v. 2
In our modern society, time for watching TV set accounts for a large proportion of children’s daily activities. Some people argue that this action is not educational compared to read books, resulting in a less well-educated generation. In my opinion, I do not agree with above view and several reasons will be listed in my essay. On the one hand, it is an undeniable truth that a large amount of time is spent on watching station among children. According to a recent survey of National University in Viet Nam, children spend at least three hours on the box, while the figure for doing exercise is approximately two and a half hours and only one hour of reading. Having said that, children have been more and more enthralled in watching TV and less interested in other social activities. On the other hand, I do not agree with the view that children are less good-educated since they tend to overreach television. Just because they do not read useful books does not mean that they are left behind nor they are less into their academic study. In contrast, TV set is listed among the most effective ways of learning that most teachers are applying in their curriculum. Reading monotonous books might discourage children from exploring new concepts, whereas watching video can develop their curiosity as well as their imagination because novel knowledge which is presented in visual format would help children remember better in the long term. In conclusion, watching TV set has been a dominant recreational activity among children. I believe that watching TV is the culprit of less well-educated generation as this action does good for children in some aspects as mentioned above.
In our modern society, time for watching TV set accounts for a large proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
daily activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this action is not educational compared to read books, resulting in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
well-educated generation. In my opinion, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with above view and several reasons will
be listed
in my essay.

On the one hand, it is an undeniable truth that a large amount of time
is spent
on watching station among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. According to a recent survey of National University in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend at least three hours on the box, while the figure for doing exercise is approximately two and a half hours and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one hour of reading. Having said that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have been more and more enthralled in watching TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
interested in other social activities.

On the other hand
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-educated since they tend to overreach television.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not read useful books does not mean that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
Use a comma before 'nor' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behind nor
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
into their academic study.
In contrast
, TV set
is listed
among the most effective ways of learning that most teachers are applying in their curriculum. Reading monotonous books might discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from exploring new concepts, whereas watching video can develop their curiosity
as well
as their imagination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
novel knowledge which
is presented
in visual format would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
remember better in the long term.

In conclusion
, watching TV set has been a dominant recreational activity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I believe that watching TV is the culprit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
well-educated generation as this action does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects as mentioned above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe w v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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