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Some people prefer to travel to new places, while others prefer to revisit a place that they have been to before. Which do you prefer and why? Please include reasons and examples in your explanation. v.1

Some people prefer to travel to new places, while others prefer to revisit a place that they have been to before. Which do you prefer and why? Please include reasons and examples in your explanation. v. 1
In the context of today’s rapidly advancing automation, the advent of artificial agility is one the emerging technologies which significantly affect the growth of human. While some argue that this development will be a main factor to cause more pressing problems, I strongly agree that the progressions of AI definitely are the blessing for our next generation and upcoming. On the one hand, it is undeniable to say that the thinking-computer system become a potential threat to human survival because its superior intelligence is gradually taking control of human. In a little more detail, replacement of humans with machines can be a worrying concern which lead to large-scale unemployment. Indeed, with its mechanical nature and available knowledge, people cannot compare with AI in term of working efficiency and proficiency in all areas. When people highly depend on the machine, they will lose their creative power and will be slaves of modern machinery. Another point is that automation does not have any emotions and moral values. It is only set up to perform available program and cannot make the judgment of right or wrong. Hence, if humans start considering to use it in war, it can become a scarily devastating weapon posing a serious threat to the entire world. On the other hand, apart from the possible drawbacks, I believe that the considerable advantages would wipe out the disadvantages of AI. Most entrepreneurs reckon that the investment for digital cybenetics marks an obvious advance in today’s economy. They can save an amount of necessary labour cost with the help of machine intelligence, machines think faster than humans and can be put into multi-tasking. Machine intelligence can be also employed to carry out dangerous tasks such as coal mining, rescue operations, fire extinguishing, as a result, fetal deaths are decreasing considerably. Moreover, AI technology can be applied to medical science that help doctors assess the patient’s health-related data and intimates the risk factors to the customers via the health care devices. Robotics can simulate the functionality of the human brain, it is the premise for the innovating measure in the treatment of neurological diseases without damaging the unaffected surrounding tissues. Therefore, AI technology is constructive to society when properly adapted to daily life. In conclusion, from my prospective, although progress in the field of artificial perception still contains potential risks, I think that this innovation would cause more good than harm. If we use it in the right way, it will open a new horizon for the next generation in the near future.
In the context of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
rapidly
advancing automation, the advent of artificial agility is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the emerging technologies which
significantly
affect the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that this development will be a main factor to cause more pressing problems, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the progressions of AI definitely are the blessing for our
next
generation and upcoming.

On the one hand, it is undeniable to say that the thinking-computer system become a potential threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
survival
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its superior intelligence is
gradually
taking control of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. In a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more detail, replacement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
can be a worrying concern which lead to large-scale unemployment.
Indeed
, with its mechanical nature and available knowledge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot compare with AI in term of working efficiency and proficiency in all areas. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
highly
depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
, they will lose their creative power and will be slaves of modern machinery. Another point is that automation does not have any emotions and moral values. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
set up to perform available program and cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the judgment of right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
considering to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in war, it can become a
scarily
devastating weapon posing a serious threat to the entire world.

On the other hand
, apart from the possible drawbacks, I believe that the considerable advantages would wipe out the disadvantages of AI. Most entrepreneurs reckon that the investment for digital
Possible spelling mistake found.
cybenetics
marks an obvious advance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s economy. They can save an amount of necessary
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
cost with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
intelligence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and can
be put
into multi-tasking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machine
intelligence can be
also
employed to carry out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
tasks such as coal mining, rescue operations, fire extinguishing,
as a result
, fetal deaths are decreasing
considerably
.
Moreover
, AI technology can
be applied
to medical science that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
doctors assess the patient’s health-related data and intimates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factors to the customers via the health care devices. Robotics can simulate the functionality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
brain, it is the premise for the innovating measure in the treatment of neurological diseases without damaging the unaffected surrounding tissues.
Therefore
, AI technology is constructive to society when
properly
adapted to daily life.

In conclusion
, from my prospective, although progress in the field of artificial perception
still
contains potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this innovation would cause more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
than harm. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in the right way, it will open a new horizon for the
next
generation in the near future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to travel to new places, while others prefer to revisit a place that they have been to before. Which do you prefer and why? Please include reasons and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
421 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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