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You are not satisfied with the changing rooms in a sports centre that you visit. Write a letter to the manager: – What the problem is– How you feel about the problem– What steps you want the manager to take v.1

You are not satisfied with the changing rooms in a sports centre that you visit. Write a letter to the manager: – What the problem is– How you feel about the problem– What steps you want the manager to take v. 1
It is well known that emissions of carbon dioxide and other gases into the atmosphere are the main contributors to the climate change. In this essay I will explain why global warming poses significant risk to the Earth in a whole, and how this problem can be overcome. There are several reasons why global warming is a serious threat to our planet. First of all, it facilitates a loss of bio-diversity. Today, due to climate change, many animals lose their natural habitat and are reducing in number. For example, polar bears lose their area of habitat due to melting of the Arctic ocean and struggle to survive in the changing environment. Another negative outcome of global warming is its impact on people’s live. For instance, climate change contributed to the heat waves which swept Europe last year, aggravating people’s well-being, droughts in Africa, leaving many people without food, and Australian bush fires, destroying many houses. However, global warming can be tackled by a number of serious actions. Mainly, people should try to reduce the amount of emitted greenhouse gases by imposing stringent taxes on their producers. For example, Canada is one of the world’s pioneers in curbing emissions of carbon dioxide, and its measures of introducing taxes on companies, which increase carbon footprint, show a positive effect on the environment. Furthermore, climate change is aggravated by the growing population and its control may also have a positive impact. Since the increasing population use more cars and need more goods produced, its curbing may also curb the climate change. In conclusion, global warming may result in a loss of bio-diversity and worsen the quality of people’s life. Nevertheless, this problem can be solved by imposing stringent taxes for excessive carbon dioxide emissions and controlling the Earth’s population.
It is well known that emissions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide and other gases into the atmosphere are the main contributors to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
poses significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to the Earth in a whole, and how this problem can
be overcome
.

There are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is a serious threat to our planet.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it facilitates a loss of bio-diversity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
animals lose their natural habitat and are reducing in number.
For example
, polar bears lose their area of habitat due to melting of the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Arctic ocean
and struggle to survive in the changing environment. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is its impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
contributed to the heat waves which swept Europe last year, aggravating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
well-being, droughts in Africa, leaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without food, and Australian bush fires, destroying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
can
be tackled
by a number of serious actions.
Mainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of emitted greenhouse gases by imposing stringent taxes on their producers.
For example
, Canada is one of the world’s pioneers in curbing emissions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide, and its measures of introducing taxes on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, which increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
footprint,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the environment.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is aggravated
by the growing population and its control may
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact. Since the increasing population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more cars and need more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
produced, its curbing may
also
curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
may result in a loss of bio-diversity and worsen the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.
Nevertheless
, this problem can
be solved
by imposing stringent taxes for excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide emissions and controlling the Earth’s population.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You are not satisfied with the changing rooms in a sports centre that you visit. Write a letter to the manager: – What the problem is– How you feel about the problem– What steps you want the manager to take v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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