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There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter: • Describe what the problem with the changing rooms v.1

There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter: • Describe what the problem with the changing rooms v. 1
I disagree with the generic opinion of the public that every person is responsible for his own health and should not depend on the government to provide him medical benefits. In my essay, I would discuss the reasons why citizens cannot be always accountable for their health concerns and how government can aid in this regard. Firstly, in localities with poor sanitation and unhygienic surroundings, residents cannot be held accountable for their ailments. The immediate environment suppresses their immunity and self-care alone would not safeguard them from illnesses. Secondly, with the industrialization, the air and water contamination has given rise to several diseases in the neighbourhood, which is not controllable by any individual or a sect of the society. For example, from the Bhopal gas tragedy, people are still suffering from respiratory disorders, blame of which cannot be placed at the victim’s doorstep. As a reason, government needs to ensure health care subsidies, to improve its citizen’s well-being. Primarily, health care is not a priority to lower sections of the social order, providing free medical care to such segments would encourage them to avail the services resulting in a healthy nation. For example, India with more than 30% below the poverty line, the absence of free health aids would put the country in major crisis. Similarly, free health care can also help the country’s administration to control epidemics. If not free, the poor wouldn’t approach a medical facility for regular checks, such evasion would increase casualties during any contagion and national economy fall drastically. To sum up, it is true that one’s health is his own hands, but in today’s world external factors have a significant effect on one’s well-being. Therefore, in countries with socialistic views, free health care should be given to the needy, while insisting on the stipulation personal hygiene and addictions free lifestyle.
I disagree with the generic opinion of the public that every person is responsible for his
own
health
and should not depend on the
government
to provide him medical benefits. In my essay, I would discuss the reasons why citizens cannot be always accountable for their
health
concerns and how
government
can aid in this regard.

Firstly
, in localities with poor sanitation and unhygienic surroundings, residents cannot
be held
accountable for their ailments. The immediate environment suppresses their immunity and self-care alone would not safeguard them from illnesses.
Secondly
, with the industrialization, the air and water contamination has
given
rise to several diseases in the
neighbourhood
, which is not controllable by any individual or a sect of the society.
For example
, from the Bhopal gas tragedy,
people
are
still
suffering from respiratory disorders, blame of which cannot
be placed
at the victim’s doorstep.

As a reason,
government
needs to ensure
health
care
subsidies, to
improve
its citizen’s well-being.
Primarily
,
health
care
is not a priority to lower sections of the social order, providing
free
medical
care
to such segments would encourage them to avail the services resulting in a healthy nation.
For example
, India with more than 30% below the poverty line, the absence of
free
health
aids would put the country in major crisis.
Similarly
,
free
health
care
can
also
help
the country’s administration to control epidemics. If not
free
, the poor wouldn’t approach a medical facility for regular
checks
, such evasion would increase casualties during any contagion and national economy fall
drastically
.

To sum up, it is true that one’s
health
is his
own
hands,
but
in
today
’s world external factors have a significant effect on one’s well-being.
Therefore
, in countries with socialistic views,
free
health
care
should be
given
to the needy, while insisting on the stipulation personal hygiene and addictions
free
lifestyle.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter: • Describe what the problem with the changing rooms v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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