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You are not satisfied with the changing room in a sports centre that you visit. Write s letter to the sports centre manager. v.1

You are not satisfied with the changing room in a sports centre that you visit. Write s letter to the sports centre manager. v. 1
Undeniably, technology is gaining momentum in every walk of our life and it is impossible to imagine a life without it. Some folks believe that the overuse of these devices has an adverse effect on the language and writing skills of the young people. In my opinion, I partially agree with this view as technology is the two edge sword having both merits and demerits. To begin with, the proper use of electronic devices can bring positive effect on writing and reading abilities of the youngsters. As internet is considered to be the encyclopedia of information which results in allowing the reader to gain knowledge and improving their vocabulary by reading different types of content on the internet. For example, the access to many newspaper application, ebooks and lot more help young people to enrich themselves with good vocabulary and broaden their horizons of knowledge. In addition to this, the availability of the internet over the phones and laptop provides the opportunity to the writers to write their blog in order to express their opinion to the society. Consequently, this help them to polish their writing skills and gain expertise. Therefore, the usage of gadgets such as mobile phones, laptops and lot more blesses youngsters to boost their writing and reading competencies. On the other, the regular usage of these electronic devices can badly impact the reading and writing skills of young people. Firstly, young people who send messages to others via application such as Skype, Facebook, and google hang out usually abbreviate their words in order to communicate faster. Particularly, some software program such as Microsoft word offers convenient functions to the users to correct their grammatical and spelling mistake automatically. As a result, the young people lacks in the spelling of even common words. Secondly, nowadays younger generation spends more time on computers and mobile phones. As a result, they don’t have sufficient time for reading activities such as newspapers and books. Hence, due to all these reasons these advanced devices can negatively affect the reading the writing skills of youngsters. In conclusion, I assert that these modern devices have equal positive and negative aspects. It is up to us to decide whether we want to benefit from them or allow them to deteriorate our cognitive skills.
Undeniably
, technology is gaining momentum in every walk of our life and it is impossible to imagine a life without it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks believe that the overuse of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
has an adverse effect on the language and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view as technology is the two edge sword having both merits and demerits.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
abilities of the youngsters. As internet
is considered
to be the encyclopedia of information which results in allowing the reader to gain knowledge and improving their vocabulary by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of content on the internet.
For example
, the access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
newspaper application,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebooks
and lot more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enrich themselves with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
vocabulary and broaden their horizons of knowledge.
In addition
to this, the availability of the internet over the phones and laptop provides the opportunity to the writers to write their blog in order to express their opinion to the society.
Consequently
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to polish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and gain expertise.
Therefore
, the usage of gadgets such as mobile phones, laptops and lot more blesses youngsters to boost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
competencies.

On the other, the regular usage of these electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
can
badly
impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages to others via application such as Skype, Facebook, and google hang out
usually
abbreviate their words in order to communicate faster.
Particularly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
software program such as
Did you mean the proper noun "Microsoft Word" (= Microsoft product)?
Microsoft word
offers convenient functions to the users to correct their grammatical and spelling mistake
automatically
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lacks
in the spelling of even common words.
Secondly
, nowadays younger generation spends more time on computers and mobile phones.
As a result
, they don’t have sufficient time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
activities such as newspapers and books.
Hence
, due to all these reasons these advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
can
negatively
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of youngsters.

In conclusion
, I assert that these modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have equal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. It is up to us to decide whether we want to benefit from them or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to deteriorate our cognitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You are not satisfied with the changing room in a sports centre that you visit. Write s letter to the sports centre manager. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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