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q6 Using the main points and examples from the lecture describe the kind of information that ultrasound can provide and then explain the way that ultrasound is used in medical diagnosis. v.1

q6 Using the main points and examples from the lecture describe the kind of information that ultrasound can provide and then explain the way that ultrasound is used in medical diagnosis. v. 1
Nowadays, the social platform has become a need for everyone. People use it in different-different fields to fulfil their desires. Broadcasting network is helpful in many areas, but there are some drawbacks also into its account. Internet communications made it easy to explore so many things just sitting at home as well as increased crime rates. Social networking has many advantages for people who tend to learn. It made communications so simple and worldwide, which is very helpful in maintaining long distant personal and professional relationships. The media, discovers all news and provides to ordinary people, which was not possible without universal access. One more good result of social media is that it gives a chance for all to show their potential through their work and earn money. Anyone can show their talent via the internet and get updates. Another decisive effect of social media increases awareness. Although internet activities have numerous benefits, it has some adverse impacts also. There is a danger of personal things like private information, data, location, for instance, somebody can hack personal bank accounts and use it for money making. Another disadvantage of broadcasting is time-wasting by the younger generation as they focus on entertainment rather than their career. Internet gaming is another lousy result of social media, which is making people lazy to play in the ground. Therefore, obesity is increasing among people. In conclusion, social networking can be useful for knowledge and awareness, but also it can be easy to harm privacy. Thus, people should use it wisely.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platform has become a need for everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields to fulfil their desires. Broadcasting network is helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
into its account. Internet communications made it easy to explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting at home
as well
as increased crime rates.

Social networking has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to learn. It made communications
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
simple and worldwide, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful in maintaining long distant personal and professional relationships. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, discovers all news and provides to ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which was not possible without universal access. One more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is that it gives a chance for all to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their potential through their work and earn money. Anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talent via the internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updates. Another decisive effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
increases awareness.

Although internet activities have numerous benefits, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse impacts
also
. There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of personal things like private information, data, location,
for instance
, somebody can hack personal bank accounts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for money making. Another disadvantage of broadcasting is time-wasting by the younger generation as they focus on entertainment
rather
than their career. Internet gaming is another lousy result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, which is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazy to play in the ground.
Therefore
, obesity is increasing among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking can be useful for knowledge and awareness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can be easy to harm privacy.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
wisely
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q6 Using the main points and examples from the lecture describe the kind of information that ultrasound can provide and then explain the way that ultrasound is used in medical diagnosis. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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