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You are interested in attending a short course at a college in an English speaking country. Write a letter to the college administration; include what course you would like to attend. Give details about your educational background and work experience. Wha v.1

You are interested in attending a short course at a college in an English speaking country. Write a letter to the college administration; include what course you would like to attend. Give details about your educational background and work experience. Wha v. 1
Many people perceive teaching English in school as paramount compared to native languages, which may lead to these languages being diminished. In my opinion, I believe that English is particularly a crucial language and it must be taught at schools, even though it's possible harmful effects on local languages. A good reason to teach English in schools is that it is considered an international language, and everyone would need to master it in order to connect with the outer world. Specifically, most of the social media platforms nowadays are mainly of English origin, and although they support different language options, we still need English to fully understand events worldwide. Another point to consider is that, everyone who pursue higher education have to master the English language. In other words, most of the published studies and references in the majority of the branches have been available in English, so, you have to be linguistically competent to grasp all information and data mentioned in these resources. Therefore, you can produce a more valuable research and valuable results. Meanwhile, the effect of only focusing on the English teaching could be detrimental to the local languages. So, it is important to balance efforts in teaching both languages in order to keep the existence of the local tongue. For example, there must be some courses which are only taught in the native language such as religion and history. Also, we have to keep our conversation at school and home mainly by our native tongue. Thus, we earn benefits of the two languages together. In conclusion, although learning English in schools is quite important, we have to maintain teaching local language at schools and do not underestimate its significance because this could lead to its forgetfulness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
perceive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
English in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as paramount compared to native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, which may lead to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
being diminished
. In my opinion, I believe that English is
particularly
a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
even though
it's possible harmful effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
languages.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to teach English in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is that it
is considered
an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, and everyone would need to master it in order to connect with the outer world.
Specifically
, most of the social media platforms nowadays are
mainly
of English origin, and although they support
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
options, we
still
need English to
fully
understand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
worldwide.

Another point to consider is that, everyone who pursue higher education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
master the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
In other words
, most of the published studies and references in the majority of the branches have been available in English,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
linguistically
competent to grasp all information and data mentioned in these resources.
Therefore
, you can produce a more valuable research and valuable results.

Meanwhile, the effect of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
could be detrimental to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to balance efforts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the existence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
tongue.
For example
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
taught in the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
such as religion and history.
Also
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our conversation at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and home
mainly
by our native tongue.
Thus
, we earn benefits of the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
together.

In conclusion
, although learning English in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and do not underestimate its significance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this could lead to its forgetfulness.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You are interested in attending a short course at a college in an English speaking country. Write a letter to the college administration; include what course you would like to attend. Give details about your educational background and work experience. Wha v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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