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Imagine that your city government has given permission for a major company to build a large factory near your neighborhood. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not? Explain your position using specific reasons and examples. v.1

Imagine that your city government has given permission for a major company to build a large factory near your neighborhood. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not? Explain your position using specific reasons and examples. v. 1
There is no denying the fact that the number of students who graduate from universities is on the rise. Some people argue that since there are not enough jobs for all graduates, people should stop giving too much importance to university education. I do not quite agree with this view because finding a white collar job should never be the only objective of going to university. It is now widely believed that a university education is essential for success in the workplace. And that is true. Graduates are likely to command better pay packets than undergraduates. Graduates are also more likely to get a promotion. There is one problem, though. While the number of graduates is on the rise, there aren’t enough jobs for all of them. That means a large of number of fresh graduates are unemployed because they can’t find jobs that meet their level of academic qualification. On the flip side, plenty of jobs are available in the labour sector. However, most graduates are reluctant to accept these jobs because they are looking for white collar jobs. When they can’t find those jobs they become discouraged. Does this mean that students should stop going to universities? The answer is an emphatic NO. Education is one of those skills that can never harm its possessor. One can never be over-educated. Besides imparting job-related skills, universities also make students better equipped to face the challenges of life. By not acquiring higher education a person will only impair his chances of success in life. In conclusion, by not going to universities, we can’t solve any problem. What we need is a change in the mindset. We must realize that all forms of labour are dignified. We must stop thinking that because we are educated we should only work in office like environments.
There is no denying the fact that the number of students who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is on the rise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that since there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
giving too much importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I do not quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
finding a white collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
should never be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
objective of going to university.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
widely
believed that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is essential for success in the workplace. And
that is
true.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Graduates
are likely to command better pay packets than undergraduates.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Graduates
are
also
more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion. There is one problem, though. While the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
is on the rise, there aren’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for all of them. That means a large of number of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are unemployed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can’t find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their level of academic qualification.

On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are available in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
sector.
However
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are reluctant to accept these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are looking for white collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
they can’t find those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they become discouraged. Does this mean that students should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
? The answer is an emphatic NO.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is one of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that can never harm its possessor. One can never be over-educated.
Besides
imparting job-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
students better equipped to face the challenges of life. By not acquiring higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
a person will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
impair his chances of success in life.

In conclusion
, by not going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, we can’t solve any problem. What we need is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the mindset. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
realize that all forms of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
are dignified
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
thinking that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
are educated
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
work in office like environments.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Imagine that your city government has given permission for a major company to build a large factory near your neighborhood. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not? Explain your position using specific reasons and examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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