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You are going to have a new roommate next semester. Which of the following qualities is most important to you: a) cleanliness b) humorous c) politeness? v.1

You are going to have a new roommate next semester. Which of the following qualities is most important to you: a) cleanliness b) humorous c) politeness? v. 1
The very first day of my work started with well-timed joke on my co-workers. From that moment everything seemed easy and everyone seems like close friend. In that situation, humorous helped to get through hard weird times. Therefore, more than politeness and cleanliness, in answering this question I would definitely choose politeness as the most important quality for new roommate. I have two reason why I prefer humorous is the most essential consideration I look for. First of all, of course it is fun to be with humorous person. Somehow, the word “humor” connect to belly laugh and quiet sarcastic smile. Both will let us forget about stresses and worries. Lonely times will definitely decrease if there is funny lady behind me. Therefore, it is beneficial for our daily life. For example, imagining living with weakly polite person and crazy funny person, there is imagination occurred automatically in our brain that sadness and joy. Definitely, joy is needful than sadness; hence, I would consider humorous person as happiness bringer and stress reliever. Secondly, as I mentioned before, little jokes can break the ices so that adaptation in new environment will become easier by communicating no shy. Sometimes, it takes a lot of time to get to know someone stranger and until that time occurs, they is fat-fetched communication occurs, like an strangers who just met. For example, during summer vacation I spend time in campus with three different girls from three different countries. One of them was shy, inner person and another one was out-talker who always makes jokes and vanishes weird situation. After all, than humorous girl and I become close friends in just one week but I was still struggling to understand shy girl. For this situation, humorous helped to communicate better. Hence, to understand each other better and communicate, I would prefer the quality that breaks the ice. In conclusion, whenever, I got a choice between these three statement, I would hundred percent choose humorous for above reasons and experiences.
The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
day of my work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with well-timed joke on my co-workers. From that moment everything seemed easy and everyone seems like close friend. In that situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humorous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
weird
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
Therefore
, more than politeness and cleanliness, in answering this question I would definitely choose politeness as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
quality for new roommate. I have
The expression 'two reason' seems incorrect in this context.
two reason
why I prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humorous
is the most essential consideration I look for.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
of course
it is fun to be with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. Somehow, the word “humor” connect to belly laugh and quiet sarcastic smile. Both will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us forget about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
and worries. Lonely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
will definitely decrease if there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
lady behind me.
Therefore
, it is beneficial for our daily life.
For example
, imagining living with
weakly
polite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and crazy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, there is imagination occurred
automatically
in our brain that sadness and joy. Definitely, joy is
Use "(needful)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
needful
than sadness;
hence
, I would consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
as happiness bringer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
reliever.

Secondly
, as I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
jokes can break the ices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that adaptation in new environment will become easier by communicating no shy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know someone stranger and until that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
occurs, they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
-fetched communication occurs, like
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an stranger" or simply "strangers"?
an strangers
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
met.
For example
, during summer vacation I spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in campus with three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
girls from three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. One of them was shy, inner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and another one was out-talker who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
jokes and vanishes weird situation.
After all
,
Did you mean "then"?
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humorous
girl and I become close friends in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was
still
struggling to understand shy girl. For this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humorous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to communicate better.
Hence
, to understand each other better and communicate, I would prefer the quality that breaks the ice.

In conclusion
, whenever, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a choice between these three statement, I would
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
percent choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humorous
for above reasons and experiences.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay You are going to have a new roommate next semester. Which of the following qualities is most important to you: a) cleanliness b) humorous c) politeness? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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