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What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important. v.1

What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important. v. 1
Some people believe that those having money and without money face problems to have access to the educational institutions. I partially agree with this notion. It is my opinion that accessing university is much harder for the poor people. On the one hand, I believe that there is a certain criterion to qualify the applicants in order to to enrol in the academic level. For example, students have to clear some specified exams to get admission to particular courses. Those who qualify these norms get a reach to the higher education Institutions. Therefore, there is no difference of being wealthy or poor, but the main factor is that, are you qualified for the university or not? . On the other hand, universities these days offer seats in various courses against donations. Students from high class families are in a position to pay these donations. Hence, it becomes possible for them to get access to these places. However, those lacking funds are deprived of these facilities. In addition to this, sometimes rich people are able to influence the authorities of higher educational institutions in favour of their children. This influence acts as a gateway for their younger ones to enter into the universities. To conclude, we can say that accessing the university is may be considered hard to get when universities rely on qualifying norms only. However, in some cases, rich people succeed in manipulating the authorities of these universities by influencing them with donations or any other possible way they can find.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that those having money and without money face problems to have access to the educational institutions. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. It is my opinion that accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is much harder for the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, I believe that there is a certain criterion to qualify the applicants in order
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
enrol in the academic level.
For example
, students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specified exams to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission to particular courses. Those who qualify these norms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a reach to the higher education Institutions.
Therefore
, there is no difference of being wealthy or poor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the main factor is that, are you qualified for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or not?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
these days offer seats in various courses against donations. Students from high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families are in a position to pay these donations.
Hence
, it becomes possible for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to these places.
However
, those lacking funds
are deprived
of these facilities.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to influence the authorities of higher educational institutions in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of their children. This influence acts as a gateway for their younger ones to enter into the universities.

To conclude
, we can say that accessing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is may
be considered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
rely on qualifying norms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
succeed in manipulating the authorities of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
by influencing them with donations or any other possible way they can find.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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