Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important v.1

Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important v. 1
In the contemporary world, when society develops day by day, some people believe that there are many choices for every person in the best way. In my point of view, I partly agree with this opinion. In the one hand, the society is growing rapidly, there are many options for people to choose. For example, nowadays, instead of sitting in the office from 8 a. M to 5 p. M every weekday, youth could work as a freelancer because of the development of internet. They are able to work everywhere and every time they want. Furthermore, because of crazy-busy schedule, there are many online websites for people to go shopping instead of going to traditional supermarkets, which means that they could save time to do other activities such as relaxing or doing exercises. In the other hand, besides those advantages, there are many people in poor countries that do not need the daily necessary things. For instance, in some countries in Asia or Africa, they do not have enough clean water or foods for their daily lives, which causes many problems in their health. Furthermore, in those countries, children do not have opportunities to access good education systems, which diminish their future careers and make those countries do not have enough potential to develop in the future. To sum up, because of the global commercial market, people nowadays have many choices for their own purposes. However, the government should take care of some poor areas, which helps them to achieve these opportunities like other developed countries in the world.
In the contemporary world, when society develops day by day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices for every person in the best way. In my point of view, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the one hand, the society is growing
rapidly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose.
For example
, nowadays,
instead
of sitting in the office from 8
Did you forget something after 'a'?
a.
M to 5 p. M every weekday, youth could work as a freelancer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of internet. They are able to work everywhere and every time they want.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of crazy-busy schedule, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online websites for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go shopping
instead
of going to traditional supermarkets, which means that they could save time to do other activities such as relaxing or doing exercises.

In the other hand,
besides
those advantages, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that do not need the daily necessary things.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Asia or Africa, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
clean water or foods for their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, which causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in their health.
Furthermore
, in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, children do not have opportunities to access
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education systems, which diminish their future careers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
potential to develop in the future.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the global commercial market,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purposes.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take care of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor areas, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to achieve these opportunities like other developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts