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Question: Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Question: Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Our planet Earth is where we live and spend all of our lives. So, it is important to protect Earth. Even though some people belive that human activities damage Earth, some disagree. In my opinion, human activities makes the Earth a better place to live for two main reasons. First, without humans, Earth is just a planet like other planets. Our planet does not have identity without people who are living in. In addition, there are so many places on Earth that does not have enough resources for humans and other creatures. Therefore, without humans those areas can be considered dead. Last week, when I was reading a newspaper, I read about a two-year-old child who was starving to death in Nigeria. Her family were not able to afford buying food. She was suffering from malnutrition. Finally, a charity in United States that supports children' s life in Africa, found her and started supporting her. The charity not only did start supporting her financially, but also it helped her family to grow some potato in the fields close by their shack. After few weeks, she started growing and her health was improved significantly. Furthermore, the potatoes started growing which offered another source of nutrition for her and her family. As you can see clearly, without human activities she would have lost her life. Second, humans help with saving many endangered animals. During years, Earth might encounter natural climate changes and disasters such as earthquakes and flood. In my country, Iran, there is a special type of cheetah that was in danger of extincting around 15 years ago. The extiction had started because of flooding Caspian Sea to the north land of Iran, the habitat of Iranian Cheetah. Enviromentalist and other scientists had a series of meetings on how to save this animal. After several discussions and meetings, they concluded that they need to transfer about 100 of these animals to a non-exhibiting zoo where they can live naturally and safely. This example clearly illustrates that humans made Earth a better place by saving its species. In conclusion, I belive that humans makes the Earth an amazing place to live not only by saving humans but also by saving endangered animals. I recommend people who disagree with this statement to reconsider their point of view.
Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
is where we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and spend all of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagree. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for two main reasons.

First
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
like other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
does not have identity without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are living in.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
that does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and other creatures.
Therefore
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
those areas can
be considered
dead. Last week, when I was reading a newspaper, I read about a two-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child who was starving to death in Nigeria. Her family were not able to afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to buy".
buying
food. She was suffering from malnutrition.
Finally
, a charity
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United States".
in United States
that supports
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s life in Africa, found her and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
supporting her. The charity not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
did
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
supporting her
financially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
her family to grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potato in the fields close by their shack. After few weeks, she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
growing and her health was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
.
Furthermore
, the potatoes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
growing which offered another source of nutrition for her and her family. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
clearly
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities she would have lost her life.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. During years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
might encounter natural climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and disasters such as earthquakes and flood. In my country, Iran, there is a special type of cheetah that was in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of extincting around 15 years ago. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
extiction
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of flooding Caspian Sea to the north land of Iran, the habitat of Iranian Cheetah.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Enviromentalist
and other scientists had a series of meetings on how to save this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
. After several discussions and meetings, they concluded that they need to transfer about 100 of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to a non-exhibiting zoo where they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
naturally
and
safely
. This example
clearly
illustrates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
its species.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
an amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. I recommend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who disagree with this statement to reconsider their point of view.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Question: Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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