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You are bored in your current job but you enjoy working for your company. You think you would be happier if you moved to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter ask to be moved to a position in another v.1

You are bored in your current job but you enjoy working for your company. You think you would be happier if you moved to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter ask to be moved to a position in another v. 1
It is noticeable that consuming fast food on a prolonged basis will develop various diseases. To solve this problem, some countries plan to increase the tax on fast food. This measure, however, is neither efficient nor effective in my opinion. Imposing a higher tax on fast food only has a marginal impact on preventing people from eating too much junk food. For ordinary people, the low price of fast food is not the primary reason for them to choose this kind of food. Most of them prefer fast food instead of healthy food just because they put convenience on a higher priority than health. Therefore, although an increment on tax will result in a higher price, many consumers may still choose fast food. On the other hand, some people choose fast food because they do not have alternatives. Healthy food, such as organic food, usually have a higher price which might not be affordable for those people. Therefore, if the price of fast food goes higher, there will be much fewer choices of foods for them, which will eventually lead them to a harder life. Compared with increasing tax, making healthy food more convenient and more affordable to citizens might be a better solution for government. Exerting an excessive amount of Interference in the market could cause damage to the local economy. The government, therefore, should try to avoid such risky behaviour. Instead, they can encourage the consumption of healthy food. For example, the commercial cultivation of organic foods can be facilitated so that consumers can buy healthy foods with lower price. Additionally, spending the budget on promoting a healthy lifestyle through education and training to consumers is another practical solution for the problem caused by fast food. In conclusion, to cope with the health issue caused by an excessive consumption of fast food, the government should focus on advertising the healthy lifestyle to the citizen, rather than simply charging a higher tax on fast food.
It is noticeable that consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on a prolonged basis will develop various diseases. To solve this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries plan to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This measure,
however
, is neither efficient nor effective in my opinion.

Imposing a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has a marginal impact on preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from eating too much junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. For ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not the primary reason for them to choose this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Most of them prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they put convenience on a higher priority than health.
Therefore
, although an increment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
will result in a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consumers may
still
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have alternatives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, such as organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
usually
have a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
which might not be affordable for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
goes higher, there will be much fewer choices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
for them, which will
eventually
lead them to a harder life.

Compared with increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more convenient and more affordable to citizens might be a better solution for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Exerting an excessive amount of Interference in the market could cause damage to the local economy. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
therefore
, should try to avoid such risky
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Instead
, they can encourage the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For example
, the commercial cultivation of organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can
be facilitated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that consumers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
with lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
Additionally
, spending the budget on promoting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle through education and training to consumers is another practical solution for the problem caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
food.

In conclusion
, to cope with the health issue caused by an excessive consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should focus on advertising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle to the citizen,
rather
than
simply
charging a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You are bored in your current job but you enjoy working for your company. You think you would be happier if you moved to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter ask to be moved to a position in another v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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