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In many countries, the government practices censorship of television programs. Do you support this practice or not? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

In many countries, the government practices censorship of television programs. Do you support this practice or not? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
One of the most conspicuous trends of today’s world is a colossal surge in the number of such vehicle accidents as cars, trucks and buses, all over the world, be it in impoverished or developed nations. There is a wide range of factors that account for why this is happening. In my opinion, this situation could be remedied, provided some effective measures are taken. Measures to deal with this soaring concern are many; the most significant ones are not remote or complicated but accessible and practicable. The primary one lies in the fact that governments should take a firm stance and apply stringent rules and regulations to lower the speed limit. Secondly, using the electronic devices while driving should be forbidden by law. Finally, an awareness program could be initiated by individuals to educate the public about the catastrophic effects of unsafe roads and the projected enhancements for road safety. Only when convergent efforts from all sectors are ensured, can we expect to see considerable progress in tackling this problem. There is a deluge of merits for implementation of reduced speed limits. High speed is likely to impose life threatening danger on people crossing the roads, due to the perilous nature of this hazardous speed with danger being an integral part of it. Not only does reducing the speed limits contribute to decreasing daily accidents, but it also raises the standard of driving. Needless to say, all these advantages have a far-reaching impact on pedestrian safety. There are, however, some pitfalls that can easily overpower the potential benefits of limiting speed. The primary one stems from the fact that slowing the speed could lead to augmenting the daily traffic hours. Besides, it could also delay delivering sick and severe patients to hospitals. Hence, it is apparent why some individuals are against changing the standardized level of speed. From what has been discussed, one can conclude that despite the drawbacks of reducing speed limits, the expected benefits of this measure are indeed far greater.
One of the most conspicuous trends of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world is a colossal surge in the number of such vehicle accidents as cars, trucks and buses, all over the world, be it in impoverished or developed nations. There is a wide range of factors that account for why this is happening. In my opinion, this situation could
be remedied
, provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective measures
are taken
.

Measures to deal with this soaring concern are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
; the most significant ones are not remote or complicated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
accessible and practicable. The primary one lies in the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take a firm stance and apply stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations to lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
.
Secondly
, using the electronic devices while driving should
be forbidden
by law.
Finally
, an awareness program could
be initiated
by individuals to educate the public about the catastrophic effects of unsafe roads and the projected enhancements for road safety.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when convergent efforts from all sectors
are ensured
, can we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
considerable progress in tackling this problem.

There is a deluge of merits for implementation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
. High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
is likely to impose life threatening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
crossing the roads, due to the perilous nature of this hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
being an integral part of it. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "goes reducing".
does reducing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
contribute to decreasing daily accidents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
raises the standard of driving. Needless to say, all these advantages have a far-reaching impact on pedestrian safety.

There are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pitfalls that can
easily
overpower the potential benefits of limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
. The primary one stems from the fact that slowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
could lead to augmenting the daily traffic hours.
Besides
, it could
also
delay delivering sick and severe patients to hospitals.
Hence
, it is apparent why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals are against changing the standardized level of speed.

From what has
been discussed
, one can conclude that despite the drawbacks of reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
benefits of this measure are
indeed
far greater.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In many countries, the government practices censorship of television programs. Do you support this practice or not? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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