Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

31/10/2017You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter• explain why you want to leave your current job• what kind of job you are looking for• ask for some help or advice v.1

31/10/2017You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter• explain why you want to leave your current job• what kind of job you are looking for• ask for some help or advice v. 1
It has been observed that in this world of advanced technology and innovation video games have made their visible existence in society. There is no denying the fact that nowadays smart phone games are one of the favourite pass time. However, one section of society complains that these games have ruined their kids' growth. In contrary to this others think that playing with gadgets sharpen their brain and increase their intelligence. Nevertheless, video games have a negative impact on a kid's mind and in following paragraphs I will shed light on the reasons behind this. First and foremost reason of playing games is the worst effect on kids mental and physical health. What I mean by this is sitting for hours in one posture can put strain on their eyes and can deteriorate their fitness level. In addition to this, it will cause laziness in their body. Second is the waste of time while playing with these gadgets. To exemplify it, let's consider a student spending half of his time on video games which he could have invested in his studies. Hence, it could lead to lower his position in class academically. Thirdly, a kid starts living in a virtual world full of the magic characters rather than understanding the actual world. To explain it further there is an example of the famous game by name of Pubbg and Blue whale which has caused deaths. Moreover youngsters hesitate to cope up with social life. To conclude, I would opine that parents should maintain a balance between their children indoor and outdoor activities to maintain a healthy environment for their well being.
It has
been observed
that in this world of advanced technology and innovation video
games
have made their visible existence in society. There is no denying the fact that nowadays smart phone
games
are one of the
favourite
pass time.
However
, one section of society complains that these
games
have ruined their kids' growth. In contrary to
this
others
think
that playing with gadgets sharpen their brain and increase their intelligence.
Nevertheless
, video
games
have a
negative
impact on a kid's mind and in following paragraphs I will shed light on the reasons behind this.

First
and foremost reason of playing
games
is the worst effect on kids mental and physical health. What I mean by this is sitting for hours in one posture can put strain on their eyes and can deteriorate their fitness level.
In addition
to this, it will cause laziness in their body.

Second is the waste of time while playing with these gadgets. To exemplify it,
let
's consider a student spending half of his time on video
games
which he could have invested in his studies.
Hence
, it could lead to lower his position in
class
academically
.

Thirdly
, a kid
starts
living in a virtual world full of the magic characters
rather
than understanding the actual world. To
explain
it
further
there is an example of the
famous
game by name of
Pubbg
and Blue whale which has caused deaths.
Moreover
youngsters hesitate to cope up with social life.

To conclude
, I would opine that parents should maintain a balance between their children indoor and outdoor activities to maintain a healthy environment for their
well being
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay 31/10/2017You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter• explain why you want to leave your current job• what kind of job you are looking for• ask for some help or advice v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts