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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Dancing plays an important role in a culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.43

Dancing plays an important role in a culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 43
It is often claimed that advancement in the field of technology has created a lot of problems for human beings. This essay completely agrees that life was in a much better condition when technology was not so developed. Firstly, the essay will discuss the negative impact of modern innovations on environment and secondly, it will also explain the medical consequences; followed by a reasoned conclusion In the modern world, the issue of pollution is increasing with each passing year. Rising number of industries in the developed as well as developing countries are seriously affecting the quality of air and water. Similarly, fumes from these sources trap energy from the sun, which is resulting in an increase in global temprature. For instance, a recent survey conducted by World Environment Organization found that among the top ten most polluted countries of the world, eight were highly developed like China, India and the USA. Due to the advancement of science and technology, people nowadays are exposed to various kinds of threats. With each passing day newer viruses are entering our world, smart phones and wireless technologies are emitting dangerous radiations and those living in the vicinity of nuclear plants have to face nuclear radiations. All these hazards are detrimental for human health. For example, even after a century people in Japan are still facing the consequences of atomic bombing in the form of joints and mental diseases. To conclude, this essay absolutely supports the view that modern technology has negatively influenced our lives in many ways like increased pollution and newer disease. It is therefore recommended that global authorities ought to formulate some laws for the safety of humankind.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that advancement in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems for human beings. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that life was in a much better condition when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
developed.
Firstly
, the essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of modern innovations on environment and
secondly
, it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the medical consequences; followed by a reasoned conclusion

In the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the issue of pollution is increasing with each passing year. Rising number of industries in the developed
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are
seriously
affecting the quality of air and water.
Similarly
, fumes from these sources trap energy from the sun, which is resulting in an increase in global
Possible spelling mistake found.
temprature
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Environment Organization found that among the top ten most polluted countries of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, eight were
highly
developed like China, India and the USA.

Due to the advancement of science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays
are exposed
to various kinds of threats. With each passing day newer viruses are entering our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, smart phones and wireless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are emitting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
radiations and those living in the vicinity of nuclear plants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face nuclear radiations. All these hazards are detrimental for human health.
For example
, even after a century
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Japan are
still
facing the consequences of atomic bombing in the form of joints and mental diseases.

To conclude
, this essay
absolutely
supports the view that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
negatively
influenced our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways like increased pollution and newer disease. It is
therefore
recommended that global authorities ought to formulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws for the safety of humankind.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Dancing plays an important role in a culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 43

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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