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After working in your department for over 3 years, you feel the need to switch your department. Write a letter to your boss requesting a change in the department. In the letter mention: • Why do you want to switch departments? • Which department would y v.1

After working in your department for over 3 years, you feel the need to switch your department. Write a letter to your boss requesting a change in the department. In the letter mention: • Why do you want to switch departments? • Which department would y v. 1
Pictures are replacing a thousand words. Therefore, thanks to modern technology news sharing with a picture or video are easy accessible and standard. Apart from that, stories on the TV and newspapers cannot be imagined without visualized materials. In this essay I will explain why in my opinion is important to see photos as part of the information. Many people think that pictures are an essential part of each news in a nowadays. As an example, we can see top sold magazines and newspapers are fully covered with great photos and illustration as support for the story. Although, according to the my working experience in the newspaper house, and my direct contact with a many of the readers, they confirmed that they more often just looked first at the pictures to decide if they will read or not a news. On the other side, if we are looking TV houses which all top stories cover within a video material or live reporting what increasing more visitors on their channel. As an example, let us take look how many will drop reading if a news presenter will talk about story without the supports of the real videos. Finally, this type of the reporters presentation will equal as they listen radio instead of television. As a conclusion, humans in the nowadays cannot imagine any newspapers or TV channels without real photographs or documentary materials. However, more people share the opinion that pictures are more valuable than any words. Taking everything into consideration, I am standing on my opinion that bad picture explaining more than the best written story.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pictures
are replacing a thousand words.
Therefore
, thanks to modern technology news sharing with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
or video are easy accessible and standard. Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
on the TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
cannot
be imagined
without visualized materials. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in my opinion is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
photos as part of the information.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
are an essential part of each news in a nowadays.

As an example, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
top sold magazines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are
fully
covered with great photos and illustration as support for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
. Although, according to
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my working" or "the working"?
the my working
experience in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, and my direct contact with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the readers, they confirmed that they more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
looked
first
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
to decide if they will read or not
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "news".
a news
.

On the other side, if we are
Did you mean "watching"?
looking
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
which all top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
cover within a video material or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
reporting what increasing more visitors on their channel. As an example,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us take look how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
will drop reading if a news presenter will talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
without the supports of the real videos.
Finally
, this type of the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "reporters'" or "reporter's"?
reporters
presentation will equal as they listen radio
instead
of television.

As a conclusion, humans in the nowadays cannot imagine any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
or TV channels without real photographs or documentary materials.
However
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
share the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
are more valuable than any words. Taking everything into consideration, I am standing on my opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
explaining more than the best written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay After working in your department for over 3 years, you feel the need to switch your department. Write a letter to your boss requesting a change in the department. In the letter mention: • Why do you want to switch departments? • Which department would y v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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