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You are a history teacher at a high school so you saw an advertise meant in the local newspaper about the local museum which coincided with what you are teaching in your school Write to the museum administrator In your letter Introduce yourself Inform her v.1

You are a history teacher at a high school so you saw an advertise meant in the local newspaper about the local museum which coincided with what you are teaching in your school Write to the museum administrator In your letter Introduce yourself Inform her v. 1
In this Sophisticated era, Technology has been changing rapidly with the advent of new devices. It is often considered by some people that modern inventions such as Mobiles damaging Public communications, which is not true because of the reasons which I will explain further in this essay. Although, Mobile phones are useful in many ways, the main idea behind this invention is to improve the interaction between the people across the world. Cell phones are being improvised with many latest features which allows us to communicate more effectively. For instance, with the evolution of internet, Video calling facilities has huge impact on the users that enables them to interact with their friends and families across the globe. Evidently, people found it easier to talk with their beloved ones instead of writing emails. However, we should not forget the role of internet which is shaping the world of technology with a new interventions such as Facebook, what's app and Twitter. These social media applications have gone to an extent where they have been acting as a bridge between people and government. Almost all prominent leaders are utilising this platforms to interact, discuss and collaborate with the society directly. For example, Donal trump himself agreed that digital media platforms aid him to deliver speeches, addressing the nation in a more affluent way compared to public gatherings. In conclusion, Technology has been evolved from last two decades. Some people live in a false notion that mobiles would kill communications. I disagree with this thought and believe that cell phones always strive to improve indefinite interactions between humans and could emerge as the most powerful tool in terms of communication in the coming days.
In this Sophisticated era, Technology has been changing
rapidly
with the advent of new devices. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that modern inventions such as Mobiles damaging Public communications, which is not true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reasons which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
further
in this essay.

Although, Mobile phones are useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
behind this invention is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the interaction between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the world. Cell phones are
being improvised
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
latest features which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to communicate more
effectively
.
For instance
, with the evolution of internet, Video calling facilities has huge impact on the users that enables them to interact with their friends and families across the globe.
Evidently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
found it easier to talk with their beloved ones
instead
of writing emails.

However
, we should not forget the role of internet which is shaping the world of technology with a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "intervention"?
interventions
such as Facebook, what's app and Twitter. These social media applications have gone to an extent where they have been acting as a bridge between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Almost all prominent leaders are
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
this platforms to interact, discuss and collaborate with the society
directly
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Donal
trump himself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that digital media platforms aid him to deliver speeches, addressing the nation in a more affluent way compared to public gatherings.

In conclusion
, Technology has
been evolved
from last two decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a false notion that mobiles would kill communications. I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and believe that cell phones always strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
indefinite interactions between humans and could emerge as the most powerful tool in terms of communication in the coming days.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay You are a history teacher at a high school so you saw an advertise meant in the local newspaper about the local museum which coincided with what you are teaching in your school Write to the museum administrator In your letter Introduce yourself Inform her v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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