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You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays You decide to apply for the job Write a letter to the director of the Museum In your letter introduce yourself explain what experience and v.1

You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays You decide to apply for the job Write a letter to the director of the Museum In your letter introduce yourself explain what experience and v. 1
Some people like to pass their lives doing similar jobs and keep away from change. However, others think that changing jobs and taking risks are the positive thing. This essay will discuss both views in the following paragraphs. Firstly, people who want stability in their lives are often preferred to do the same job for years. They create a comfort zone in work places and do not want to come out of it. Moreover, doing the same work for years will give them perfection in particular work and also their knowledge will help newcomers to teach. Establish themselves as an authority in that field. However, this prevents them from learning new skills and identifying their hidden talents. It is possible that after a while they will get tired of doing the same things again and again. This will eventually lead to boredom and they may even lose interest in their job or routines. Secondly, Changing jobs and routines frequently, on the other hand, might seem discouraging, but it does not really have to be if one knows what one is doing. In this age of possibilities, coming out of one’s comfort zone is the only way to learn something new and explore new opportunities. While this might seem challenging, it will turn out to be a rewardble learning in the long run. For example, change gives a person's exposure to various fields and opportunities to find a better job or better workplace. What’s more, while executives who are resistant to change will eventually get bogged down by the boaring nature of their work, those who embrace change are insulated from this problem. In conclusion, both sides of the arguments have their own merits; However, in my opinion, change is essential to learn new things and realize our full potential. What’s more, change makes our life exciting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to pass their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing. This essay will discuss both views in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who want stability in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
preferred to do the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for years. They create a comfort zone in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places and do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of it.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for years will give them perfection
in particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
also
their knowledge will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
newcomers to teach. Establish themselves as an authority in that field.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and identifying their hidden talents. It is possible that after a while they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the same things again and again. This will
eventually
lead to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
boredom and
they may even lose interest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or routines.

Secondly
, Changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and routines
frequently
,
on the other hand
, might seem discouraging,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be if one knows what one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
. In this age of possibilities, coming out of one’s comfort zone is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to learn something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
and explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
opportunities. While this might seem challenging, it will turn out to be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
rewardble
learning in the long run.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
gives a person's exposure to various fields and opportunities to find a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or better workplace. What’s more, while executives who are resistant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bogged down by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
boaring
nature of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, those who embrace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
are insulated
from this problem.

In conclusion
, both sides of the arguments have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits;
However
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is essential to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and realize our full potential. What’s more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our life exciting.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays You decide to apply for the job Write a letter to the director of the Museum In your letter introduce yourself explain what experience and v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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