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You have recently visited a museum Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited Write a letter to him her In your letter write where you went what you saw there how you felt about it v.1

You have recently visited a museum Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited Write a letter to him her In your letter write where you went what you saw there how you felt about it v. 1
Pressurising the kids by their parents is quite common now-a-days in order to gain success. Although, there are detrimental negative effects by doing like this on their beloved children's. However, this kind of behaviour ultimately leads to negative development, this essay will discuss the significant reasons to do like that by their family members. There are several reasons to compile the children's by their father or mother. Firstly, to improve their quality of education in their academic career. People often believe that, by having a great educational background and grades will bring them into a successful life. For instance, while their children's in school or college, their parents use to restrict them on various factors as a result they will focus on their curriculum. Secondly, their guardian's keep concern about some of the decent job for them, as same as their profession, so that they will get sufficient resources to lead their sophisticated life. For example, whatever job the parents are doing, they forced to their kids to follow them. However, without a doubt, by keeping some intentional force on their kids, it will cause a serious problem. Firstly, they will never learn on their own since they are keeping feeding and monitored by their parents. Secondly, they always want to gain some experience by executing some new functionalities and these things they never attempt because of their parental circumstances. Apparently, it will being enough confidence nature to them without any hesitation to experiment new things as they wish. Additionally, children's often feel bad about some negative attributes even they attempt for threatening their life such as suicide. To conclude, It's always recommended to do things as per their wish and let them give a chance to decide for what to do and what not to do so that it won't have any negative repercussions. Parent's should not restrict their wishes and their freedom of thinking irrespective their nature of the field.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Pressurising' is British English.
Pressurising
the kids by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is quite common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days in order to gain success.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there are detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects by doing like this on their beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
.
However
, this kind of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
ultimately
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
development, this essay will discuss the significant reasons to do like that by their family members.

There are several reasons to compile the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
by their father or mother.
Firstly
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their quality of education in their academic career.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believe that, by having a great educational background and grades will bring them into a successful life.
For instance
, while their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
in school or college, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
restrict them on various factors
as a result
they will focus on their curriculum.
Secondly
, their guardian's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
concern about
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
decent job for them, as same as their profession,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient resources to lead their sophisticated life.
For example
, whatever job the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are doing, they forced to their kids to follow them.

However
, without a doubt, by keeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intentional force on their kids, it will cause a serious problem.
Firstly
, they will never learn on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
since they are keeping feeding and monitored by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Secondly
, they always want to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experience by executing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new functionalities and these things they never attempt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their parental circumstances.
Apparently
, it will being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
confidence nature to them without any hesitation to experiment new things as they wish.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
attributes even they attempt for threatening their life such as suicide.

To conclude
, It's always
The verb 'recommended' is used with the gerund form: "recommended doing".
recommended to do
things as per their wish and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them give a chance to decide for what to do and what not to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it won't have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
repercussions. Parent's should not restrict their wishes and their freedom of thinking irrespective their nature of the field.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay You have recently visited a museum Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited Write a letter to him her In your letter write where you went what you saw there how you felt about it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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