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You and your colleagues just came back from a foreign language training. Write aletter to the manager and say– explain how you and your colleagues enjoyed the training– suggest more training sessions in the future– say when and where it should be co v.1

You and your colleagues just came back from a foreign language training. Write aletter to the manager and say– explain how you and your colleagues enjoyed the training– suggest more training sessions in the future– say when and where it should be co v. 1
Is sending kids to other countries for educational aim advantageous? In this essay, I will start discussing the benefits of this, such as improving their personality, then, I will illustrate a couple of its drawbacks, such as wasting money and time. Learning trips have some of the extremely beneficial pros. One of these advantages is it can enhance children's logical thinking. Many of these trips have a wide range of activities that force them to think out of the box. Moreover, it can enhance their personality and making them independent. This is due to the fact that they may face new and different situations where they need to take their own decision alone without their parents' help. For instance, a case study has been done by the University of Jordan shows that children who have travelled once before have a better way of thinking and better decision making than those who have not. Clearly, these kind of travels can help young people enhance their personality. Although educational trips have tremendous benefits, they also have a number of awful disadvantages. Firstly, many children may not study or make any effort to learn new things, or the programs themselves are weak and do not serve their purposes. This means that these kind of activities can be a waste of time and money. A prime example of that is a report from the Amman Education Center illustrate that more than 50% of the educational trips' programs are not valid and do not have any positive effects on the children. Secondly, the children may learn the other country's traditions which may conduct with us. As a result, they may struggle living in their mother country again. For example, research from the Yarmouk Center in Irbid shows that 10% of the children who travel for learning purposes find an issue when they come back to their home country because of the traditions' conflicts. To conclude, educational trip is a double-edged sword, in other words, it has wonderful impacts on the child, such as improving his way of thinking; however, it also has pointless effects such as the ones that have poor programs which means that they are wasting of time and money.
Is sending kids to other countries for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
aim advantageous? In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
discussing the benefits of this, such as improving their personality, then, I will illustrate a couple of its drawbacks, such as wasting money and time.

Learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
have
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
extremely
beneficial pros. One of these advantages is it can enhance children's logical thinking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
have a wide range of activities that force them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of the box.
Moreover
, it can enhance their personality and making them independent.
This is due to the fact that
they may face new and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations where they need to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision alone without their parents'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
For instance
, a case study has
been done
by the University of Jordan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have travelled once
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
have a better way of thinking and better
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
than those who have not.
Clearly
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of travels can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enhance their personality.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
have tremendous benefits, they
also
have a number of awful disadvantages.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may not study or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any effort to learn new things, or the programs themselves are weak and do not serve their purposes. This means that
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of activities can be a waste of time and money. A prime example of
that is
a report from the Amman Education Center illustrate that more than 50% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
trips' programs are not valid and do not have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may learn the other country's traditions which may conduct with us.
As a result
, they may struggle living in their mother country again.
For example
, research from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yarmouk
Center in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Irbid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 10% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who travel for learning purposes find an issue when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to their home country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the traditions' conflicts.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
is a double-edged sword,
in other words
, it has wonderful impacts on the child, such as improving his way of thinking;
however
, it
also
has pointless effects such as the ones that have poor programs which means that they are wasting of time and money.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You and your colleagues just came back from a foreign language training. Write aletter to the manager and say– explain how you and your colleagues enjoyed the training– suggest more training sessions in the future– say when and where it should be co v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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