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In some educational systems, children are required to study one or more foreign languages. In others, foreign language study is not a requirement. What are the potential benefits of foreign language study? Do you think foreign language study is an important v.3

In some educational systems, children are required to study one or more foreign languages. In others, foreign language study is not a requirement. What are the potential benefits of foreign language study? Do you think foreign language study is an important v. 3
Some schools are offering one or more foreign languages while others do not include them in their school curriculum. Not only it does help students to respect other cultures, it also helps students to perform better in another subjects and offer better opportunities in the job market. In my view, learning second language should be made compulsory as part of school program. One of the potential benefits to study second language is it helps students to perceive world better. When they learn a new language, it means that they will have a chance to interact with other people which whom language is associated to. This can help them to appreciate diversity to respect different cultures. Furthermore, it will increase their opportunity to bond a new friendship with non-native speakers. Leaning other language will help us to explore and connect to local people when we are abroad. Although monolingual people will have the same opportunity to travel, multi-language people will speak to local people much more easily and therefore, offering a wider opportunity to explore more places. Another benefit is that learning second language can help to improve student’s memory, and therefore, they will be most likely to perform better in other subjects taught in the schools. When students learn new vocabulary, they will be exposed to various new words with different pronunciations and rules, thus, they need to be able to recall them whenever they want to communicate with others. This ability will boost memory and people who speak multilanguage tend to be able to recall names, figures, and directions easier than monolingual speakers. Moreover, fluency in one or two foreign languages can be a great asset in the future. It is common for employees to seek for a candidate who can speak different language due to the company nature as well as for relocation purpose. Therefore, there will be a greater chance for students mastering foreign language to secure better jobs when they enter the job market. To sum up, foreign language clearly offers various benefits to the students and schools ought to embed it as part if their program.
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Some
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schools
are offering one or more
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foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
while others do not include them in their
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school
curriculum. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it does
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help
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students
to respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures, it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in another subjects and offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in the job market. In my view, learning second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should
be made
compulsory as part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
program.

One of the potential benefits to study second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to perceive world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. When they learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, it means that they will have a chance to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which whom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is associated
to. This can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to appreciate diversity to respect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.
Furthermore
, it will increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to bond a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friendship with non-native speakers. Leaning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us to explore and connect to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when we are abroad. Although monolingual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to travel, multi-language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will speak to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
much more
easily
and
therefore
, offering a wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to explore more places.

Another benefit is that learning second
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language
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
memory, and
therefore
, they will be most likely to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects taught in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. When
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students
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
vocabulary, they will
be exposed
to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
words with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pronunciations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
thus
, they need to be able to recall them whenever they want to communicate with others. This ability will boost memory and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who speak
Possible spelling mistake found.
multilanguage
tend to be able to recall names, figures, and directions easier than monolingual speakers.

Moreover
, fluency in one or two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
can be a great asset in the future. It is common for employees to seek for a candidate who can speak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
nature
as well
as for relocation purpose.
Therefore
, there will be a greater chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
mastering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
jobs when they enter the job market.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
clearly
offers various benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
ought to embed it as part if their program.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some educational systems, children are required to study one or more foreign languages. In others, foreign language study is not a requirement. What are the potential benefits of foreign language study? Do you think foreign language study is an important v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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