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In some educational systems, children are required to study one or more foreign languages. In others, foreign language study is not a requirement. What are the potential benefits of foreign language study? Do you think foreign language study is an important v.2

In some educational systems, children are required to study one or more foreign languages. In others, foreign language study is not a requirement. What are the potential benefits of foreign language study? Do you think foreign language study is an important v. 2
It is argued by some authorities that the huge number of students have been preferring to enrol courses in foreign countries. I believe that this situation has some advantages for both students and countries as well as some disadvantages are observed too. In the modern world, Multilanguage has become crucial for societies to communicate and trade with each other. The students who choose to study abroad easily learn a language during studying without any effort. Moreover, due to the international environment in many schools, students are able to contact with different cultures. For example, if a person graduates from abroad, this person would be a valuable asset for any company. On the other hand, when we look at the aspect of the host country, the advantages are mostly about financial and cultural. In fact, the universities have entry requirements such as the language and cultural tests which ensure that the student would adapt to the country. Also, tuition fees are double than citizens, so universities could be funded by foreign students. Besides the benefits of studying abroad, students and students’ home countries have been facing some disadvantages like a cultural shock for students and brain drain. Most of the students have difficulty in an adaptation of new cultures and peoples. It causes the students could have psychological problems and it might permanent damage. Furthermore, this issue causes a brain drain, which is crucial for the future of the country. In other words, even if those students would be a politician, diplomat or engineer who work to develop and reconstruct the country, instead, they would be used by the host country. For instance, a student who has studied university at a foreign company would prefer to stay there instead of turning back to hometown. In conclusion, in the light of information and examples given above, I am convinced that whereas studying abroad allows people to communicate with different people smoothly and causes financially development for the universities, it should not be forgotten that every citizen has to service their own countries.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
authorities that the huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have been preferring to enrol courses in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I believe that this situation has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
are observed
too.

In the modern world,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Multilanguage
has become crucial for societies to communicate and trade with each other. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who choose to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
easily
learn a language during studying without any effort.
Moreover
, due to the international environment in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to contact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.
For example
, if a person graduates from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, this person would be a valuable asset for any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
On the other hand
, when we look at the aspect of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the advantages are
mostly
about financial and cultural. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have entry requirements such as the language and cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
which ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
would adapt to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Also
, tuition fees are
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
could
be funded
by foreign students.

Besides
the benefits of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have been facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages like a cultural shock for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and brain drain. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have difficulty in an adaptation of new cultures and peoples. It causes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could have psychological problems and it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
might permanent
damage.
Furthermore
, this issue causes a brain drain, which is crucial for the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In other words
, even if those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would be a politician, diplomat or engineer who work to develop and reconstruct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
instead
, they would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who has studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
at a foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
would prefer to stay there
instead
of turning back to hometown.

In conclusion
, in the light of information and examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above, I
am convinced
that whereas studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to communicate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
smoothly
and causes
financially
development for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, it should not
be forgotten
that every citizen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
service their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay In some educational systems, children are required to study one or more foreign languages. In others, foreign language study is not a requirement. What are the potential benefits of foreign language study? Do you think foreign language study is an important v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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