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you agree or disagree with the following statement? For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities. Use v.6

you agree or disagree with the following statement? For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities. Use v. 6
Education has an influential and a fabulous leverage on our daily life. It is utterly important to appreciate its indelible impact on the society. Although some people have the viewpoint that universities should be funded more because the materials, teacher' s salary, and the innovation for the department cost more. However, others may hold a different intellect and disagree with this notion. My personal experience and actual observation of life had led me to agree with the idea that the government should concentrate to support the education process of young people financially more than the universities. In the following essay, I shall delve into most outstanding reasons. First and foremost, children can learn faster and the information will printed in their brain and hard to forgot. They are thirsty to get the information and dedicate their effort to learn as much as possible. For instance, according to many study conducted on teaching children since six month old, they found they could answer the questions after only one time teaching these materials. Furthermore, when asking the same questions after a while, they were able to answer it right. Countries could use the kids ability to built a generation of smart, well educated segments that will be successful in building their own society. In addition, starting teaching from early age can help the government to concentrate on weak points and work on it to increase the percentage of the successful achievement for their education. Indeed, those could be done by pecuniary support for head start education process either through increase the teachers skill, build more preschools and elementary schools, and put in the schedule more heavy materials. For example, my little daughter before she gets admitted to the elementary school, she was able to repeat the alphabet and the names of some animals and colors. After school in few months, she was able to enter certain program for mathematics, funded by the local government for the talented children. Many of her teachers were proud of her achievement and proud for the opportunity that the government provide for this new, talented generation. To sum up, judging the reasons that mentioned before, taking all the factors into account, I would reinforce my idea that spending money for the small age education will be more important in the progress of the countries because the young age people are faster to get the information and could achieve their goals so easy and works on the difficulties that the children face to enhance it to have a smart, well educated, and talented individuals that they help in building their community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
has an influential and a fabulous leverage on our daily life. It is
utterly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to appreciate its indelible impact on the society. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the viewpoint that universities should
be funded
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the materials,
Possible spelling mistake found.
teacher&
#039; s salary, and the innovation for the department cost more.
However
, others may hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
intellect and disagree with this notion. My personal experience and actual observation of life had led me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should concentrate to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
process of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
financially
more than the universities. In the following essay, I shall delve into most outstanding reasons.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn faster and the information will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "print"
printed
in their brain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Did you mean "to forget"?
to forgot
. They are thirsty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information and dedicate their effort to learn as much as possible.
For instance
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
study conducted on teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since six
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they found they could answer the questions after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one time teaching these materials.
Furthermore
, when asking the same questions after a while, they were able to answer it right. Countries could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "kids'" or "kid's"?
kids
ability
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
a generation of smart,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
segments that will be successful in building their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
society.

In addition
, starting teaching from early age can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to concentrate on weak points and work on it to increase the percentage of the successful achievement for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Indeed
, those could
be done
by pecuniary support for head
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
process either through increase the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "teachers'" or "teacher's"?
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, build more preschools and elementary schools, and put in the schedule more heavy materials.
For example
, my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
daughter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
admitted to the elementary school, she was able to repeat the alphabet and the names of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals and colors. After school in few months, she was able to enter certain program for mathematics, funded by the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for the talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of her teachers were proud of her achievement and proud for the opportunity that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provide for this new, talented generation.

To sum up, judging the reasons that mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, taking all the factors into account, I would reinforce my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that spending money for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the progress of the countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the young age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are faster to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information and could achieve their goals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy and works on the difficulties that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face to enhance it to have a smart,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
, and talented individuals that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in building their community.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay you agree or disagree with the following statement? For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities. Use v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
433 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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