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do you agree or disagree with the followingsome peole believe that work five days a week for short time is better than work three days a week for long time v.2

with the followingsome peole believe that work five days a week for short time is better than work three days a week for long time v. 2
Working has a tremendous and an influential impact on our daily lives. It enhances our success in immesearable ways because, it encompasses our core. Although, some people hold the view point to work five days a weeks for short time. Others, may hold different view point and prefer three days a week for long time. My personal experience and actual observation of life have led me to agree with the idea that, working three days with long time would be great for better personal and professional outcomes. In the following paragraph I will delve into the most outstanding reasons. The first most important reason is that, engaged in three days of work would be extremely significant for our personal lives. Indeed, employees could engage in different physical activities and devote their time to do their hobbies and satisfy their family need. For instance, an extra two days off, would be enough to enrolled into certain physical activities a lone or with others. Furthermore, employees could use this time to accomplish certain tasks that accompany our contemporary lives. For instance, people could go for shopping, doing house chores and other stuff which require more time than the weekend could afford. Another reason which desire some words, working for three hours and have extra free time would definitely enhance the workers abilities to perform their work more efficiently. Moreover, the employees would get an extra time to get relaxed and be away from stress. Thus, will give them more power to start working early and perform their duties with few mistakes. For instance, working for many days may brought a negative impact on workers and exposed them to an ample of pressure. Consequently, it will affect their concentration in work, and they might perform less efficiently. In a nut shell, judging all what i have mentioned above, taking all factors into considerations, I would reinforce my idea that working for three days will be better for both personal and professional achievements. Thus, employees would have time to perform their duties and private stuff, and could focus more while working to accomplish better results.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
has a tremendous and an influential impact on our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It enhances our success in
Possible spelling mistake found.
immesearable
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it encompasses our core. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view point to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
five days
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a week" or simply "weeks"?
a weeks
for short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Others, may hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view point and prefer three days a week for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
experience and actual observation of life have led me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
three days with long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
would be great for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and professional outcomes. In the following paragraph I will delve into the most outstanding reasons.

The
first
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that, engaged in three days of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
would be
extremely
significant for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
could engage in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
physical activities and devote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do their hobbies and satisfy their family need.
For instance
, an extra two days off, would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to enrolled into certain physical activities a lone or with others.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to accomplish certain tasks that accompany our contemporary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could go for shopping, doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores and other stuff which require more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than the weekend could afford.

Another reason which desire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for three hours and have extra free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
would definitely enhance the workers abilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
efficiently
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed and be away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Thus
, will give them more power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
early and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
their duties with few mistakes.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
days may brought a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on workers and exposed them to
The phrase 'an ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an ample of
pressure.
Consequently
, it will affect their concentration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and they might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
less
efficiently
.

In a nut shell, judging all what
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have mentioned above, taking all factors into considerations, I would reinforce my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for three days will be better for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and professional achievements.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
would have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
their duties and private stuff, and could focus more while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
to accomplish better results.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay with the followingsome peole believe that work five days a week for short time is better than work three days a week for long time v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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