Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Writing task 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic: Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.1

Writing task 2 : Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. v. 1
# Essay Now some kinds of animals are under threat that they may disappear, so individuals are trying to save them. However, other individuals think that action causes to waste of valuable resources. Personally, I do not think so, and in this essay I prove my disagreement with some crucial details. Initially, it is very vital to appreciate the endangered animal species in maintaining the balance of nature. The wildlife is very important to the world, that numerous living creature depends on each other. Thus, there may be a huge negative impact if some of them disappear. Because there every creature's has a significant role in our natural environment. Even there may be a lot of shynesses. For instance, food chain, such as it is not new that some animals eat hazardous animals as a food. It is very beneficial to the ecosystem. That action called "environment's self- refreshing ". It is very profitable not only to animal nutrition, but also to individuals' way of life. So their extinction must not be trivial to all of the people. However, on the contrary that some scientists believe that the action of saving some endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. In fact, protecting wildlife is profitable not only to animals, but also to human being. For instance, forests, which it is very helpful to individuals by producing oxygen, and absorbing carbon dioxide and stabilize the Earth's climate change and so on. On the whole, according to over mentioned reasons we must to save animals that some of the main part of life. Without them there might be a lot of nuisance in way of Earth's life.
# Essay

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are under threat that they may disappear,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
individuals are trying to save them.
However
, other individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that action causes
Did you mean "wasting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to waste
of valuable resources.
Personally
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, and in this essay I prove my disagreement with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Initially
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital to appreciate the endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species in maintaining the balance of nature. The wildlife is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the world, that numerous living creature depends on each other.
Thus
, there may be a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them disappear.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
there every creature's has a significant role in our natural environment. Even there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
shynesses
.
For instance
, food chain, such as it is not new that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
eat hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "food".
a food
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to the ecosystem. That action called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
environment's self- refreshing
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
profitable not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
nutrition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to individuals' way of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
their extinction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be trivial to
Consider using "all the".
all of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
,
on the contrary
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists believe that the action of saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. In fact, protecting wildlife is profitable not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to human being.
For instance
, forests, which it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to individuals by producing oxygen, and absorbing carbon dioxide and stabilize the Earth's climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

On the whole
, according to over mentioned reasons we
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
main part of life. Without them there might be
Possible agreement error. The noun nuisance seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of nuisances".
a lot of nuisance
in way of Earth's life.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Writing task 2 : Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts