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As a result of deforestation and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.1

As a result of deforestation and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem? v. 1
More animals are at risk of being wiped off from the face of the earth. This could be a direct consequence of cutting down trees and killing of livestock without following due process. This essay will discuss why it is imperative to shield animals and also recommend different methods of preserving threatened wildlife. To begin with, It is important to save organisms that are on the verge of the extinction as the whole food chain will be influenced, if its any member will be affected. To exemplify, as per the claims of the writer of the book on fauna, if termites will be eliminated, it will lead to demolition of humanity within fifty years. Furthermore, various medicines to treat ailments of humans are tested first on animals having same genetic composition. For an instance, rat, this tiny creature is often used for the testing of a myriad number of drugs to prevent certain diseases against humans. Thus, it is crucial to prevent animals for the survival of mankind. The best way to preserve these precious living creatures can be the implementation and the obedience of laws made by the government. For an example, in India, there were only 1300 Bengal Tigers, when no action against the poachers were taken by the judiciary, but now due to a strict penalty against culprits, the population of this animal has risen considerably. Also, certain species of birds have become extinct due to harmful radiations from telecom towers, hence before their installation, emphasis must be laid before choosing their place of construction. To conclude, protection of animals is of prime concern to maintain proper food chain balance and for the medical testing. Therefore, laws must be followed religiously by people and the telecom industry.
More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being wiped
off from the face of the earth. This could be a direct consequence of cutting down trees and killing of livestock without following due process. This essay will discuss why it is imperative to shield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
also
recommend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods of preserving threatened wildlife.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to save organisms that are on the verge of the extinction as the whole food chain will
be influenced
, if its any member will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. To exemplify, as per the claims of the writer of the book on fauna, if termites will
be eliminated
, it will lead to demolition of humanity within fifty years.
Furthermore
, various medicines to treat ailments of humans are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
first
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
having same genetic composition. For an instance, rat, this tiny creature is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the testing of a myriad number of drugs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
certain diseases against humans.
Thus
, it is crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the survival of mankind.

The best way to preserve these precious living creatures can be the implementation and the obedience of laws made by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. For an example, in India, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1300 Bengal Tigers, when no action against the poachers
were taken
by the judiciary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
due to a strict penalty against culprits, the population of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
has risen
considerably
.
Also
, certain species of birds have become extinct due to harmful radiations from telecom towers,
hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their installation, emphasis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be laid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing their place of construction.

To conclude
, protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is of prime concern to maintain proper food chain balance and for the medical testing.
Therefore
, laws
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be followed
religiously
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the telecom industry.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay As a result of deforestation and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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