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Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. v. 2
Wildlife conservation should be given top most priority by any government while planning for expenditure budget. There are numerous species like Cheetah and Bengal Tiger, which are on the verge of extinction due to the loss of their natural surroundings and once these species are extinct. It is my personal belief that we should take initiatives to preserve them for the sake of ourselves. First of all, it is undeniable that animal species have played a vital role in maintaining the balance of the ecosystem. A natural environment is a place where numerous plants and animals depend on each other for existence. The disappearance of any species might have a negative impact on the whole flora and fauna. For example, many wild animals kill rats and protect farmers’ crops from being destroyed by those harmful preys. Another justification is that all the plants and living creatures have incalculable intrinsic value. Even if endangered species do not have any practical use, they should be preserved nevertheless. The reason is that the destruction of forest caused by humans has recently posed a threat to natural inhabitants. Our severe damage to the environment has resulted in a reduction in the number of rare species all over the world. Thus, we should make every possible effort to compensate for the risks suffered by animals on the brink of disappearance. To sum up, I firmly hold the view that it would be human responsibilities to protect natural animals from dying out due to their benefits to the global environment.
Wildlife conservation should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
top most priority by any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
while planning for expenditure budget. There are numerous species like Cheetah and Bengal Tiger, which are on the verge of extinction due to the loss of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
surroundings and once these species are extinct. It is my personal belief that we should take initiatives to preserve them for the sake of ourselves.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species have played a vital role in maintaining the balance of the ecosystem. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
environment is a place where numerous plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
depend on each other for existence. The disappearance of any species might have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact
on the whole
flora and fauna.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
kill rats and protect farmers’ crops from being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by those harmful preys.

Another justification is that all the plants and living creatures have incalculable intrinsic value. Even if endangered species do not have any practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, they should
be preserved
nevertheless
. The reason is that the destruction of forest caused by humans has recently posed a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
inhabitants. Our severe damage to the environment has resulted in a reduction in the number of rare species all over the world.
Thus
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every possible effort to compensate for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
suffered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on the brink of disappearance.

To sum up, I
firmly
hold the view that it would be human responsibilities to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from dying out due to their benefits to the global environment.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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