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Nowadays the increased amount of garbage is a real concern. Why this is happening. what can be done to resolve it? v.1

Nowadays the increased amount of garbage is a real concern. Why this is happening. what can be done to resolve it? v. 1
Education plays a pivotal role for every student across the world, without education there would not be possible to get an expected job in the distant future. Although some people believe that the major problem in education is the teaching system, some opposed that lack of resources is only cause for poor education. So, the following paragraphs will discuss both views comprehensively. In today's world, most schools and universities across the world try to focus on admission rather than the best teaching to insert a good knowledge to children. Most teachers in schools are trying to complete the subject portion within the given period. So, they hasten to impose students to memorise the important notes and deliver in the exam. This has been done for since long time. To illustrate with an example, in India, the majority of schools and university followed the oral teaching method and asked students to register that concept in their minds without giving proper explanation. In contrast, instead of that they should provide proper materials to students and explain in the practical manner. On the contrary, some people might think that the lack of resource in education centre is the main issues for poor education. It is because if in case the school/university doesn't have any proper infrastructure or materials which cause students to affect in learning. Moreover, They should provide more beneficial facilities for students that encourages them to concentrate on learning. For example, if the education destination provides more facilities like projector, digital board which gives a bright knowledge to student particularly learning the theory concept with proper explanation. In conclusion, Although the teaching program in school/university will affect the student study, I personally feel without having any proper resources there would not be any effective technique to educate students greatly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
plays a pivotal role for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
across the world, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
there would not be possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
job in the distant future. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the major problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opposed that lack of resources is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the following paragraphs will discuss both views
comprehensively
.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, most schools and universities across the world try to focus on admission
rather
than the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
to insert a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge to children. Most teachers in schools are trying to complete the subject portion within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they hasten to impose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorise' is British English.
memorise
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
notes and deliver in the exam. This has
been done
for since long time. To illustrate with an example, in India, the majority of schools and university followed the oral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
method and asked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to register that concept in their minds without giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
explanation.

In contrast
,
instead
of that they should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
materials to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the practical manner.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the lack of resource in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is the main issues for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if in case the school/university doesn't have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
infrastructure or materials which cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to affect in learning.
Moreover
, They should provide more beneficial facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that encourages them to concentrate on learning.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
destination provides more facilities like projector, digital board which gives
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "bright knowledge".
a bright knowledge
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
particularly
learning the theory concept with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
explanation.

In conclusion
, Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
program in school/university will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
study, I
personally
feel without having any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
resources there would not be any effective technique to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
greatly
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the increased amount of garbage is a real concern. Why this is happening. what can be done to resolve it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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