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WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features v.1

WRITING TASK 1 The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries
In every country, tourism plays a major role in generating monetary benefits through its monuments and historical places. Apart from these, there are a few groups of people who prefer adventurous visits to places that are hard to survive. In this essay, let us discuss more regarding the positive and negative aspects of such type of travel. To embark with the advantages, these kind of trips gives a different pleasure for those who like to explore the actual beauty of the world. Also, these journeys leave behind a lifetime experience by testing our level of survival in the utmost conditions. We can come across various flora and fauna that are specific to those types of environment. Since these places are not preferred by everyone, the population of the visitors will be comparatively low, allowing us to explore the nature peacefully. Conversely, the extreme climatic conditions can cause serious health effects on people unless they are fit enough to bear. Since these places are visited only by a rare group of people, the maintenance and safety aspects are quite questionable. There are chances of starvation due to the lesser availability of food. So, only if a person is mentally and physically prepared, he will be able to survive any type of extreme conditions. A prior appropriate planning and complete study regarding the particular area is very much mandatory that helps them in survival and crisis management. To summarize the above said points, planning a tour to unique places such as the Sahara or Antarctic region require a lot of pre-planning and also a proper selection of a companion who can enjoy the same way as we do and also to keep each other motivated in all types of the circumstances in order to have a safe and unforgettable journey.
In every country, tourism plays a major role in generating monetary benefits through its monuments and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Apart from these, there are a few groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who prefer adventurous visits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to survive. In this essay,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us discuss more regarding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of travel.

To embark with the advantages,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of trips gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pleasure for those who like to explore the actual beauty of the world.
Also
, these journeys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
behind a lifetime experience by testing our level of survival in the utmost conditions. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across various flora and fauna that are specific to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of environment. Since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are not preferred by everyone, the population of the visitors will be
comparatively
low, allowing us to explore the nature
peacefully
.

Conversely
, the extreme climatic conditions can cause serious health effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
unless they
are fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to bear. Since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are visited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by a rare group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the maintenance and safety aspects are quite questionable. There are chances of starvation due to the lesser availability of food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if a person is mentally and
physically
prepared, he will be able to survive any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of extreme conditions. A prior appropriate planning and complete study regarding the particular area is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much mandatory that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in survival and crisis management.

To summarize
the above said points, planning a tour to unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as the Sahara or Antarctic region require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-planning
and
also
a proper selection of a companion who can enjoy the same way as we do and
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
each other motivated in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of the circumstances in order to have a safe and unforgettable journey.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay WRITING TASK 1 The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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