Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison were relevant. v.11

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
The present line graph narrate the number of people who have a equal or greater than 65 age live in three different countries between 1940 to present time and also indicate how this percentages change in future till 2040. Overall, it lucid that the population of overage people upsurge over a period. Moreover, this rate gradually increase in future. Now, turning to the details in 1940 all nations has low population rate who are overage which was 5% in japan, 7% in swedan, 5% in usa. between 1940 to 1980 this number slowly decrease in usa and swedan on other hand this rate rapidly climb in japan. At 1980 to present time this amount is high in current time as compared to 4 decades ago. After a few years this percentages slowly increase but when line graph reach at 2030 this percentages upsurge with skyrocket for one decades and peak with over a one quarter percentages in swedan and japan and 22% in swedan.
The present line graph narrate the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
equal or greater than 65 age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries between 1940 to present time and
also
indicate how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in future till 2040.

Overall
,
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
lucid that the population of overage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
upsurge over a period.
Moreover
, this rate
gradually
increase
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, turning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in 1940 all nations has low population rate who are overage which was 5% in japan, 7% in
Possible spelling mistake found.
swedan
, 5% in
Possible spelling mistake found.
usa
.
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1940 and 1980".
between 1940 to 1980
this number
slowly
decrease in
Possible spelling mistake found.
usa
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
swedan
on other hand this rate
rapidly
climb in japan. At 1980 to present time this amount is high in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time as compared to 4 decades ago. After a few years
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
slowly
increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when line graph reach at 2030 this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
upsurge with skyrocket for
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one decade", "a decade", or simply "decades"?
one decades
and peak with over a one quarter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
swedan
and japan and 22% in
Possible spelling mistake found.
swedan
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison were relevant. v.11