Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart below shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The chart below shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010
Although It is believed by some that natural skills is all it takes to achieve success in sporting activities, others think that being hard working and practising relentlessly is more paramount. In my opinion, I believe that hard work and resilience are the major keys to achieving success. On the one hand, it is believed by many that having a talent is all it takes to be successful in a sport because a talented person has more advantage of achieving his goals than someone who is not a natural. In other words, an individual talented in playing a game like football or golf does not need to spend rigorous hours in training because as a natural he can easily master the skills, as a result of this, he will attain a higher performance level than his teammates. Furthermore, it is also believed that having a natural talent is an essential ingredient for a top performer as scouts who aim to recruit children would rather go for the ones with in born abilities because they believe that without it one cannot go far in his career. Also, children with natural talents can easily build up their self-confidence and become more prominent than other people when they reach adulthood. On the other hand, supporters of this view believe that working hard and practising regularly is the most important key to achieving success and I agree. This is because regardless of being a natural if an individual does not show tenacity and desire he will not reach the top of the ladder in his chosen sport. Although talent can be seen as the fuel that will kick start a successful career, but without persistent hard work talent will die. For instance, according to the recent survey carried out by the National Sport Federation, it has been reported that a higher percentage of footballers who worked hard and practised on a regular basis were more successful than the players with natural talent who believed there was no need to practice, consequently, re-emphasizing the need of hard work and resilience. In conclusion, while people's opinion may vary, I believe that the key to success in any sport is hard work irrespective of being a natural.
Although It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is all it takes to achieve success in sporting activities, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that being
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
relentlessly
is more paramount. In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and resilience are the major keys to achieving success.

On the one hand, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is all it takes to be successful in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a talented person has more advantage of achieving his goals than someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, an individual talented in playing a game like football or golf does not need to spend rigorous hours in training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
he can
easily
master the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
as a result
of this, he will attain a higher performance level than his teammates.
Furthermore
, it is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is an essential ingredient for a top performer as scouts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
aim to recruit children would
rather
go for the ones with in born abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that without it one cannot go far in his career.
Also
, children with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
can
easily
build up their self-confidence and become more prominent than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when they reach adulthood.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, supporters of this view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
regularly
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
key to achieving success and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
regardless of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
if an individual does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
tenacity and desire he will not reach the top of the ladder in his chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the fuel that will kick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a successful career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without persistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
For instance
, according to the recent survey carried out by the National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
Federation, it has
been reported
that a higher percentage of footballers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
on a regular basis were more successful than the players with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
there was no need to practice,
consequently
, re-emphasizing the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and resilience.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinion may vary, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the key to success in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
irrespective of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The chart below shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts