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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.4

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion? v. 4
It is true that most of the celebrities are known for their luxurious lifestyles than for their performance or talents these days. Also, many people think that this kind of attitude is not a good example for the young generation. In the following essay, I will express my agreement and also disagreement. On the one hand, it is a fact that many famous people become popular due to their fancy lifestyle, instead of their outstanding achievement these days. Their acting talent might be standard or below the average, but they are making sensation to the public by showing their wealth and glamorous lifestyles. For instance, would be Kamal R Khan, whose luxurious mansion, party and views on other celebrities are more famous than his acting. It is believed that the behaviour would be a negative influence for the young people as it teaches them about hedonistic lifestyle. On the other hand, there are people who have shown to the world that they have reached success due to strong determination and hard work. One of the famous Brazilian athlete once said – “Success is not accidental. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, sacrifice and love of what you are doing”. For example, would be the legendary Nawazzudin Sidique. His career from National School Drama to Bollywood will always be an inspiration for many struggling actors. These kinds of celebrities are worth to be followed by the young generation. In conclusion, I agree and also disagree to a certain point. In my opinion, we should guide the youth in selecting the role model not just from the reel life but also from the real life.
It is true that most of the celebrities
are known
for their luxurious lifestyles than for their performance or talents these days.
Also
,
many
people
think
that this kind of attitude is not a
good
example for the young generation. In the following essay, I will express my agreement and
also
disagreement.

On the one hand, it is a fact that
many
famous
people
become popular due to their fancy lifestyle,
instead
of their outstanding achievement these days. Their acting talent might be standard or below the average,
but
they are making sensation to the public by showing their wealth and glamorous lifestyles.
For instance
, would be Kamal R Khan, whose luxurious mansion, party and views on other celebrities are more
famous
than his acting. It
is believed
that the
behaviour
would be a
negative
influence for the young
people
as it teaches them about hedonistic lifestyle.

On the other hand
, there are
people
who have shown to the world that they have reached success due to strong determination and
hard
work. One of the
famous
Brazilian athlete once said
“Success is not accidental. It is
hard
work, perseverance, learning, sacrifice and
love
of what you are doing”.
For example
, would be the legendary
Nawazzudin
Sidique
. His career from National School Drama to Bollywood will always be an inspiration for
many
struggling actors. These kinds of celebrities are worth to
be followed
by the young generation.

In conclusion
, I
agree
and
also
disagree to a certain point. In my opinion, we should guide the youth in selecting the role model not
just
from the reel life
but
also
from the real life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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