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Writing task 1 the pie chart below show units of electricity production by fuel source in australia and france in 1980 and 2000 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

Writing task 1 the pie chart below show units of electricity production by fuel source in australia and france in 1980 and 2000
These days, a lot of dynamics to our environmental climates. These recent changes have sparked a number of controversial debates on how best to tackle these issues that are emanating. While some people believe that climate change should be prevented, others are of the opinion that we must find a way of adapting to it. I totally agree that these changes should be prevented. This essay will argue why I agree with this view and discuss it with examples. There are numerous reasons why I believe that our climate should be conserved from further damages. One of these is because of the detrimental effects that would bring to the human populace. A good example of this is depletion of the ozone layer due to pollution, which may possibly lead to the occurrence of some certain types of cancer. If nothing is done to deal with climate change, the society in general may suffer. Furthermore, another reason why climate change should be prevented is because of the harmful consequences it may have on livestocks and plants. For instance, some plant growth may be disrupted by toxic gases. Consequently, this would result in the disruption of the food chain. However, people who believe that we should live with climate change have argued that some of its causes are not man-made. Hence, it is beyond human control. To sum up, although some of the causes of climate change are not as a result of man's action or inaction, I still agree that it should be prevented in our own capacities. Individuals and government should work towards environmentally friendly procedures.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
dynamics to our environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climates
. These recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
have sparked a number of controversial debates on how best to tackle these issues that are emanating. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
, others are of the opinion that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find a way of adapting to it. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
. This essay will argue why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and discuss it with examples.

There are numerous reasons why I believe that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
should
be conserved
from
further
damages. One of these is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the detrimental effects that would bring to the human populace. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is depletion of the ozone layer due to pollution, which may
possibly
lead to the occurrence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain types of cancer. If nothing
is done
to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, the society
in general
may suffer.

Furthermore
, another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the harmful consequences it may have on
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "livestock", the plural form of the noun 'livestock'?
livestocks
and plants.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plant growth may
be disrupted
by toxic gases.
Consequently
, this would result in the disruption of the food chain.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
have argued that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of its causes are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made.
Hence
, it is beyond human control.

To sum up, although
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
are not
as a result
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's action or inaction, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
capacities. Individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should work towards
environmentally
friendly procedures.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Writing task 1 the pie chart below show units of electricity production by fuel source in australia and france in 1980 and 2000

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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