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The pie charts below units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The pie charts below units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
It is considered by some that exclusive material which is available on the internet is best for a learner, while there are others who choose to dissent (disagreement) and consider traditional methods of using printed material to be the best. In my perspective, these studying methods should be used interchangeably to achieve efficiency. Indeed, both resources are the conspicuous (clear) method trends, which are essential for growth and development of the pupil. To embark upon, Electronics books could be dynamic tools about the resourcefulness of online material. By this I mean, they provide access to children with a wide range of sources and interactive features to promote language and literacy development within a limited period of time. For example, students could search for websites with no charge such as Google, Wikipedia and Baidu. However, frequent use of laptops for study purpose tend to either health hazard which include, shortsightedness and others eyes defect or reason of distraction through amusement application. Conversely, hard copied stuffs are very efficient in terms of readability and preference. This is to say that students tend to absorb more when they are reading on paper and they can serve as a point of reference relating an idea collectively among learners. For example, in a survey conducted by school teachers, 89% of students agree to easily assimilate (adopt) and comprehensively (understand) effectively with a printed material. In fact, such learning methods cannot be affected by technological hassles attached to the use of media. To recapitulate, online studies and simultaneously using text books are vital because of resource availability and comprehensive (complete) reading. I opine that combination of both methods would be an ultimate solution for learners to develop literacy skills.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that exclusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
which is available on the internet is best for a learner, while there are others who choose to dissent (disagreement) and consider traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
of using printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
to be the best. In my perspective, these studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
interchangeably
to achieve efficiency.
Indeed
, both resources are the conspicuous (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
trends, which are essential for growth and development of the pupil.

To embark upon, Electronics books could be dynamic tools about the resourcefulness of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
. By this I mean, they provide access to children with a wide range of sources and interactive features to promote language and literacy development within a limited period of time.
For example
, students could search for websites with no charge such as Google, Wikipedia and Baidu.
However
, frequent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of laptops for study purpose tend to either health hazard which include, shortsightedness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
eyes defect or reason of distraction through amusement application.

Conversely
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copied stuffs are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient in terms of readability and preference. This is to say that students tend to absorb more when they are reading on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
paper and
they can serve as a point of reference relating an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
collectively
among learners.
For example
, in a survey conducted by school teachers, 89% of students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
easily
assimilate (adopt) and
comprehensively
(understand)
effectively
with a printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
. In fact, such learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by technological hassles attached to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of media.

To recapitulate, online studies and
simultaneously
using text books are vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of resource availability and comprehensive (complete) reading. I opine that combination of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
would be an ultimate solution for learners to develop literacy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The pie charts below units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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