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Writing, reading and math are three recognized traditional subjects. Computer skill should also be the fourth largest branch. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Writing, reading and math are three recognized traditional subjects. Computer skill should also be the fourth largest branch. v. 1
In my opinion, men and women should have the same educational opportunities. However, I do not agree with the idea of accepting equal proportions of each gender in every university subject. Firstly, having the same number of men and women on all degree courses is simply unrealistic. Student numbers on any course depend on the applications that the institution receives. If a college decides to fill courses with equal numbers of males and females, it would need enough applicants of each sex. In reality, many courses are more popular with one gender than the other, and it would not be practical to aim for equal proportions. For example, nursing courses tend to attract more female applicants, and it would be difficult to fill these courses if fifty per cent of the places needed to go to the males. Secondly, apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I also believe that it would be unfair to base admission to university courses on gender. Universities should continue to select the best candidates for each course according to their qualifications. In this way, both men and women have the same opportunities, and applicants know that they will be successful if they work hard to achieve good grades at school. If a female student is the best candidate for a place on a course, it is surely wrong to reject her in favour of a male student with lower grades or fewer qualifications. In conclusion, the selection of university students should be based on merit, and it would be both impractical and unfair to change to a selection procedure based on gender.
In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women should have the same educational opportunities.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of accepting equal proportions of each gender in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
subject.

Firstly
, having the same number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women on all degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is
simply
unrealistic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
numbers on any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
depend on the applications that the institution receives. If a college decides to fill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
with equal numbers of males and females, it would need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
applicants of each sex. In reality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are more popular with one gender than the other, and it would not be practical to aim for equal proportions.
For example
, nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
tend to attract more female applicants, and it would be difficult to fill these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
if fifty per cent of the places needed to go to the males.

Secondly
, apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I
also
believe that it would be unfair to base admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
on gender.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
should continue to select the best candidates for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
according to their qualifications. In this way, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women have the same opportunities, and applicants know that they will be successful if they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades at school. If a female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is the best candidate for a place on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, it is
surely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to reject her in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of a male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with lower grades or fewer qualifications.

In conclusion
, the selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be based
on merit, and it would be both impractical and unfair to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to a selection procedure based on gender.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Writing, reading and math are three recognized traditional subjects. Computer skill should also be the fourth largest branch. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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