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people are using more online language translating apps. are the advantages are more than disadvantages for these services v.1

people are using more online language translating apps. are the advantages are more than disadvantages for these services v. 1
As per the recent studies, today's children are spending most of their time watching television than earlier times rather than engaging in various activities that are creative. This essay will discuss the reasons why this is happening and put forward several solutions to motivate them to spend more time on active sports or games. Firstly, the advent of cartoon channels. In other words, since the booming of technology, various television companies launched a plethora of cartoon network channel for infants as well as the adolescents. Consequently, they lured to watch that type of programs that are alluring for them. Furthermore, in between the programs, they show a myriad of advertisements that are indulged to children. As a result, they compelled their parents to buy that product. Secondly, nowadays, there is a lack of relationship between neighbours and relatives. In detail, everyone is living in a busy world and striving for their daily bread, because, it is very difficult to get a good job now. Meanwhile, they do not have enough time to socialise. This adversely affects the children's social behaviour too. We can overcome this with some precautions. Teachers and parents should inculcate their wards about the necessity of physical education. Moreover, the government should take adequate action against this. So this way, we can encourage their creativity and fitness. In conclusion, Despite the excess of television programs and the lack of social interactions predisposed children from outdoor activities, the government, teachers and their guardians can do something for them to engage in sports and games.
As per the recent studies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's children are spending most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching television than earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
rather
than engaging in various activities that are creative. This essay will discuss the reasons why this is happening and put forward several solutions to motivate them to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on active sports or games.

Firstly
, the advent of cartoon channels.
In other words
, since the booming of technology, various television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
launched a plethora of cartoon network channel for infants
as well
as the adolescents.
Consequently
, they lured to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
that type of programs that are alluring for them.
Furthermore
, in between the programs, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a myriad of advertisements that
are indulged
to children.
As a result
, they compelled their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that product.

Secondly
, nowadays, there is a lack of relationship between
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and relatives. In detail, everyone is living in a busy world and striving for their daily bread,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Meanwhile, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
. This
adversely
affects the children's social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
too.

We can overcome this with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions. Teachers and parents should inculcate their wards about the necessity of physical education.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take adequate action against this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this way, we can encourage their creativity and fitness.

In conclusion
, Despite the excess of television programs and the lack of social interactions predisposed children from outdoor activities, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, teachers and their guardians can do something for them to engage in sports and games.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay people are using more online language translating apps. are the advantages are more than disadvantages for these services v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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