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Write at least 250 words. In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons fo v.4

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons fo v. 4
Over the past few decades, obesity and delicate health have become alarming problems in this modern society. These problems are blamed on inadequate nutrition and indolence. In the following paragraphs I shall delve into its causes and suggest some solutions. For a number of reasons, the average body weight of people is rising, leading to many problems with physical conditions. Initially, more and more people are now prefer high caloric fast foods than nutritious meals. No one can deny the deliciousness and convenience of fast food. Fast food, however, contains lots of sugar, salt, carbohydrate, which make consumers get overweight. Moreover, as our lifestyle has changed a lot we are now becoming less active. We used to walk or cycle but now we drive to work. Our amount of leisure time increase as our tasks are aided by machines. We spend most of our free time sitting in front of the TV, playing video games, even kids are getting more and more bored with playing outdoors. Physical exercise seem strange and hard with us. Consequently, we get obese and many health problems. There are several solutions that can take to resolve these issues. A nutritious diet with vegetable and meat is highly recommended and we should stay away from fast food and processed food. Also, people have to be more active by taking physical exercise, walking more often in order to burn more calories. Finally, we should change our means of transport by walking or riding bicycle to work. In conclusion, it is undeniable that obesity and failing health are facing human problems these days. The issues are mainly caused by inadequate nutrition and indolence. It time for us to live a healthy life for the sake of our next generation.
Over the past few decades, obesity and delicate health have become alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in this modern society. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are blamed
on inadequate nutrition and indolence. In the following paragraphs I shall delve into its causes and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

For a number of reasons, the average body weight of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is rising, leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with physical conditions.
Initially
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prefer high caloric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
than nutritious meals. No one can deny the deliciousness and convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
however
, contains lots of sugar, salt, carbohydrate, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
overweight.
Moreover
, as our lifestyle has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming less active. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to walk or cycle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we drive to work. Our amount of leisure time increase as our tasks
are aided
by machines. We spend most of our free time sitting in front of the TV, playing video games, even kids are getting more and more bored with playing outdoors. Physical exercise seem strange and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
with us.
Consequently
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
obese and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems.

There are several solutions that can take to resolve these issues. A nutritious diet with vegetable and meat is
highly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
recommended and
we should stay away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more active by taking physical exercise, walking more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
in order to burn more calories.
Finally
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our means of transport by walking or riding bicycle to work.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that obesity and failing health are facing human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
these days. The issues are
mainly
caused by inadequate nutrition and indolence. It
Did you mean "times"?
time
for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life for the sake of our
next
generation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons fo v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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