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HEALTH AND FITNESS PROBLEMIn some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v.1

HEALTH AND FITNESS PROBLEMIn some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 1
In some nations, the average weight of the citizens is rising and the lower level of health and fitness has been recognized. This essay will illustrate some reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions. There are several reasons for increasing weight and reducing health condition in our modern life nowadays. The main cause is that the economic is developing fast and people now live in an abundant life. Food seems unlimited. People can eat whenever they want. Also, fast-food industry has become growing more and more with a large variety of food and they have a lot of marketing strategies to attract people to buy it. Therefore, it’s easy to get fat in such an economical way like that. Another reason is that a wide range of young people choose to have a sedentary life and they spend much time for TV and stick their eyes with mobile phone, they aren’t interested in exercising or healthy activities. That leads to a health condition much decreasing. To solve this problem, some solutions government should have made. Firstly, government need to invest more in education because education plays an important role in guiding people to a healthy lifestyle. They should be taught what the healthy food is and shown how to have a healthy meal. Secondly, our government need to examine all fast food ingredients to make sure it is not contained toxic or other harmful chemical. Last but not least, people should spend time for exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Scientists show that just 30 minutes a day can prevent people from some diseases such as obesity or heart diseases. In conclusion, the modern life leads to increasing weight of people and our society should focus more in education to make sure everyone get a healthy lifestyle.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, the average weight of the citizens is rising and the lower level of health and fitness has
been recognized
. This essay will illustrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this problem and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

There are several reasons for increasing weight and reducing health condition in our modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
nowadays. The main cause is that the economic is developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
seems unlimited.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can eat whenever they want.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food industry has become growing more and more with a large variety of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
food and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
marketing strategies to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
Therefore
, it’s easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in such an economical way like that. Another reason is that a wide range of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to have a sedentary
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they spend much time for TV and stick their eyes with mobile phone, they aren’t interested in exercising or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
activities. That leads to a health condition much decreasing.

To solve this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "solutions'" or "solution's"?
solutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have made.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to invest more in education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
education plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in guiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle. They should
be taught
what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is and shown how to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
meal.
Secondly
, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to examine all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
ingredients to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure it is not contained toxic or other harmful chemical. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend time for exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
30 minutes a day can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases such as obesity or heart diseases.

In conclusion
, the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
leads to increasing weight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and our society should focus more in education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay HEALTH AND FITNESS PROBLEMIn some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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