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Now children do not behavior as well as the children did in the past. Which one of thefollowing measure do you think can help children (age 5~10) behave better? A. Control the time they spend on TV or movie. B. Take more time to chat with children. C. Monito v.1

Now children do not behavior as well as the children did in the past. Which one of thefollowing measure do you think can help children (age 5~10) behave better? A. Control the time they spend on TV or movie. B. Take more time to chat with children. C. Monito v. 1
Now children do not behavior as well as the children did in the past. which one of the following measure do you think can help children (age 5~10) behave better? A. Control the time they spend on tv or movie. B. take more time to chat with children. C. Monitor the interaction between children and their peers. children are the significant part of a society, and it is important how they behave. There is a controversy that how we can help kids to behave as well as they can. some people believe that it is the best to talk to children and have a great bond with them. others are in the opinion that we should campare them to other children, which I wonder is the worst procedure that parents can pursue. I, personally speaking, feel that parents should manage their children' time spending on tv or films. In what follows, the reasons to support my viewpoint and perceptive are vindicated. To begin with, a lot of variable programs are showed on tv, which just some of them are proper for children even when some of cartoons are showed. aggression, sadness are the main background of some program. when children watch these kind of cartoons, they gradually tend to behave like the charectors of shows. As time goes on, they look as if they become angry and aggressive. In spite of showing proper and good programs on tv, parents should restrict their children' time spending on tv. children will watch their cartoons so long as their parents allow them. To put it into a more vivid picture, my longer brother, Mohamadhossein, used to watch a particular cartoon named Ninja when he was six years old. he was quite aggressive while he was watching the cartoon. Once, my mother told him he can' t watch this program any more. Despite of his objections, his behaviors finally changed in good way. Furthermore, rest time is a significant part of kids' life in 5-10 year old children. when they sleep enough, their brain system works very well. we all have experienced that without enough rest we were angry and bored. it is more sever in children. I' ve read an article, which mentioned that when children don' t sleep enough, they would behave like they are mad of us or something like that. it shows parents to handle their rest time by reducing their time spending on movies or something. Back to my example, my brother always got angry when woke him up to have lunch because he stayed up late to watch his favorite cartoon. In conclusion, taking all the aforementioned reasons into account, in my book declining the tv time is the best approach, which parents can utilize to train their kids as well as possible. I feel in this way because of evil programs and rest time.
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Now
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children
do not behavior as
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well
as the
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children
did in the past.
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which
one of the following measure do you
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think
can
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help
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children
(age 5~10)
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behave
better? A. Control the
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time
they spend on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
or movie. B. take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to chat with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. C. Monitor the interaction between
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children
and their peers.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
are the significant part of a society, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
. There is a controversy that how we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
as
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well
as they can.
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is the best to talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and have a great bond with them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
others
are in the opinion that we should
Possible spelling mistake found.
campare
them to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which I wonder is the worst procedure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can pursue. I,
personally
speaking, feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should manage their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
or films. In what follows, the reasons to support my viewpoint and perceptive
are vindicated
.

To
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begin
with,
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a lot of
variable
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programs
are
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showed
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, which
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just
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some
of them are proper for
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children
even when
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some
of
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cartoons
are
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showed
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
aggression
, sadness are the main background of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
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cartoons
, they
gradually
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
like the
Possible spelling mistake found.
charectors
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
. As
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time
goes on, they look as if they become angry and aggressive.
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In spite of
showing proper and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should restrict their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them. To put it into a more vivid picture, my longer brother,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mohamadhossein
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoon
named Ninja when he was six years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
was quite aggressive while he was watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoon
. Once, my mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him he
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
his objections, his behaviors
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
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time
is a significant part of
Possible spelling mistake found.
kids&
#039; life in 5-10 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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when
they sleep
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enough
, their brain system works
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very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
all have experienced that without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
we were angry and bored.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is more sever in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; ve read an article, which mentioned that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t sleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, they would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behave
like they are mad of us or something like that.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to handle their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by reducing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending on movies or something. Back to my example, my brother always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
angry when woke him up to have lunch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he stayed up late to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
his favorite cartoon.

In conclusion
, taking all the aforementioned reasons into account, in my book declining the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the best approach, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can utilize to train their kids as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as possible. I feel in this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of evil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Now children do not behavior as well as the children did in the past. Which one of thefollowing measure do you think can help children (age 5~10) behave better? A. Control the time they spend on TV or movie. B. Take more time to chat with children. C. Monito v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
477 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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