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Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss both advantages and disadvantage of advertising. Include reasons and any revelant examples to support your answer. v.1

Write an essay to an educated reader to Include reasons and any revelant examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is true that advertising plays a crucial role in our lives. While some people think that advertising brings a lot of advantages to the general public. However, others think that it could also have some disadvantages. In my opinion, its cons could never overshadow its pros. Discussed below are several benefits as well as drawbacks of this isssue. On the one hand, there are various advantages of advertising. A very important point to consider is that advertising helps people to entertain after a hard-working day. This means that viewers usually feel comfortable and happy when they watch advertisings such as TV advertising, mobile phone advertising. Another point I would like to make is that advertising may make it easier to make money. This means that a television commercial can easily cost many thousands of dollars per second. It can promote the economy in our lives. Besides, advertising is benefical to advertisers. It helps to increase the profit in order to improve other products. On the other hand, in addition to the important advantages of this problem, it has some disadvantages. In fact, people have this opinion because advertising will waste time. An additional drawback of advertising is that it have to pay very costly. Very large amounts of money are spent on advertising. It can cause some risk. In conclusion, the above mentioned facts have outline the benefits as well as the drawbacks of this issue. Its disadvantages should be taken into account. People should take advantage of the pros and minimize the cons of this issue.
It is true that advertising plays a crucial role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that advertising brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it could
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. In my opinion, its cons could never overshadow its pros. Discussed below are several benefits
as well
as drawbacks of this
Possible spelling mistake found.
isssue
.

On the one hand, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of advertising. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to consider is that advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to entertain after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working day. This means that viewers
usually
feel comfortable and happy when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
such as TV advertising, mobile phone advertising. Another point I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that advertising may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money. This means that a television commercial can
easily
cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
thousands of dollars per second. It can promote the economy in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Besides
, advertising is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefical
to advertisers. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase the profit in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
other products.

On the other hand
,
in addition
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of this problem, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
advertising will waste time. An additional drawback of advertising is that it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
large amounts of money
are spent
on advertising. It can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

In conclusion
, the above mentioned facts have
Use past participle here: "outlined".
outline
the benefits
as well
as the drawbacks of this issue. Its disadvantages should
be taken
into account.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of the pros and minimize the cons of this issue.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Write an essay to an educated reader to Include reasons and any revelant examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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