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Some say that secondary school should spend less time on traditional subjects such as history and should spend more time on communication skills and business courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it? v.1

Some say that secondary school should spend less time on traditional subjects such as history and should spend more time on communication skills and business courses. with it? v. 1
The educative process plays a pivotal role in a child's life. There are those who say that subjects such as history should be given less time and more focus on communication and business courses. I, however, disagree with this idea to a large extent for reasons I will outline below. From an overall perspective, there is a wide range of reasons why people believe that traditional subjects are necessary to teach in the secondary school curriculum. Perhaps the main point in favor of this trend is that such subjects are well-equipped with the knowledge of our ancestors down through the ages. As a result, children will get to know how to deal with situations that may crop up at any time. Secondly, a school-goer do not have the maturity level to know what his real interest is in studying. The result of this is the options for children to choose subjects is limited, which in turn could have a detrimental impact on them. Every inanimate object has a history behind it. A good illustration of this is that those studying in educational institutions cannot become good doctors if they do not know the history behind that profession. Despite these arguments, there is also a case for the idea that communication and business courses should be given more time. The main reason is that such skills have become a need of the hour as there is cut-throat competition in every field. For instance, Multinational Companies such as Infosys, Wipro are looking for practical knowledge of a candidate which can only be achieved through hands-on training. In conclusion, it must be said that historical subjects are equally important as compared to business courses. Overall, I would have to say that I partially disagree with the idea because to be a successful person, it is necessary to know the importance of things around us.
The educative process plays a pivotal role in a child's life. There are those who say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as history should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
less time and more focus on communication and business courses. I,
however
, disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to a large extent for reasons I will outline below.

From an
overall
perspective, there is a wide range of reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are necessary to teach in the secondary school curriculum. Perhaps the main point in favor of this trend is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are well-equipped with the knowledge of our ancestors down through the ages.
As a result
, children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to deal with situations that may crop up at any time.
Secondly
, a school-goer do not have the maturity level to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what his real interest is in studying. The result of this is the options for children to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is limited
, which in turn could have a detrimental impact on them. Every inanimate object has a history behind it. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is that those studying in educational institutions cannot become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
doctors if they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the history behind that profession.

Despite these arguments, there is
also
a case for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that communication and business courses should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more time. The main reason is that such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
have become a need of the hour as there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competition in every field.
For instance
, Multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infosys
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wipro
are looking for practical knowledge of a candidate which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be achieved
through hands-on training.

In conclusion
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as compared to business courses.
Overall
, I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say that I
partially
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to be a successful person, it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the importance of things around us.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that secondary school should spend less time on traditional subjects such as history and should spend more time on communication skills and business courses. with it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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