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Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v.1

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v. 1
Nowadays, it is unacceptable that focus on one carrier on their future. So, people who are all having multiple knowledge and update their skills daily basis those can manage in the current fastest world. The following essay will explain that why we need to have multi level skills. It is the fact that in the old days, people are very honest and what they have focused their jobs and they have more concentrated on their own until they get retired. Likewise, past generation were enjoying their work and most of them got the Government jobs easily without any competitions. However, now current generation is very pathetic to get a job in order to the huge population of most of the countries, therefore, people are getting knowledge on multiple technologies to become a good leader. For instance, company CEO has to get multiple skill sets on varying sectors such as finance, manufacturing, sales and distribution apparel in order to handle company. Furthermore, it is undeniable that continues education is an essential thing these days. Whoever those are not updating their knowledge, they will get suffer lot to survey in current world. For instance, people who work in the Information technology sector should update themselves with the latest type of antivirus software, since many new viruses which are threatening the networks these days. Hence, those who fail to update their software will face serious problems in their database. In conclusion, I personally believe that having different types of works in life is a positive thing and bring a lot of benefits to the person's career, and it is important for people to study or learn throughout their life as the world never stop to develop.
Nowadays, it is unacceptable that focus on one carrier on their future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are all having multiple knowledge and update their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
daily basis
Did you mean "this can" or "those cans"?
those can
manage in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
fastest world. The following essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that why we need to have multi level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

It is the fact that in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
honest and what they have focused their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
jobs and
they have more concentrated on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
retired.
Likewise
, past generation were enjoying their work and most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
jobs
easily
without any competitions.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
pathetic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in order to the huge population of most of the countries,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting knowledge on multiple technologies to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
leader.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
CEO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
multiple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets on varying sectors such as finance, manufacturing, sales and distribution apparel in order to handle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Furthermore
, it is undeniable that continues education is an essential thing these days. Whoever those are not updating their knowledge, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
suffer lot to survey in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work in the Information technology sector should update themselves with the latest type of antivirus software, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new viruses which are threatening the networks these days.
Hence
, those who fail to update their software will face serious problems in their database.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of works in life is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing and bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to the person's career, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to study or learn throughout their life as the world never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to develop.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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