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Write about the following topic: •The television is good for you. •Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.1

: •The television is good for you. •Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v. 1
Television plays a very important role in the building of a society. Television is a source of information, communication and media play a very significant role in everyone's life. In today's modern society, media has become a very big part of our life. Its duty is to inform, educate and entertain the citizen of the nation. However, This essay will examine both advantages and disadvantages and try to provide conclusive based on real life experience. Firstly, I believe there are a plethora of merits of watching Television. Individuals can have information related to all the activities of surrounding at local level, national level and at global level. Information related to business, economy, market, agriculture, culture, fashion, trends, entertainment and etc. Are accessible to a large audience at one space. Secondly, Television is one of the biggest source of entertainment for all age groups, including kids, adults and older people. It provides different variety of entertainment in terms of new trends, stories from ancient point, language and with updated technology. For instance, I like daily soap series and I watch them regularly where as my younger brother has interest in sports. We both use Television as our only source of entertainment. On the other hand, its demerits can not be ignored. Spend too much moment of continuous watching may result in low eye vision issues. In a research of scholar it is found that continuous watching television is one of the root causes of Obesity. It can be concluded that besides of many demerits of televising its merits are over weighted because TV set is the mirror of the society and big platform to provide mass information to a mass audience at the same stage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the building of a society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, communication and media play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant role in everyone's life. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern society, media has become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of our life. Its duty is to inform, educate and entertain the citizen of the nation.
However
, This essay will examine both advantages and disadvantages and try to provide conclusive based on real life experience.

Firstly
, I believe there are a plethora of merits of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
. Individuals can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
related to all the activities of surrounding at local level, national level and at global level.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
related to business, economy, market, agriculture, culture, fashion, trends, entertainment
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. Are accessible to a large audience at one space.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is one of the biggest source of entertainment for all age groups, including kids, adults and older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
variety of entertainment in terms of new trends, stories from ancient point, language and with updated technology.
For instance
, I like daily soap series and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them
regularly
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
my younger brother has interest in sports. We both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
as our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of entertainment.

On the other hand
, its demerits can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. Spend too much moment of continuous watching may result in low eye vision issues. In
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
of scholar it
is found
that continuous watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is one of the root causes of Obesity.

It can
be concluded
that
besides
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
demerits of televising its merits are over weighted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
TV set is the mirror of the society and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
platform to provide mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to a mass audience at the same stage.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay : •The television is good for you. •Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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