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People today are increasingly use credit card to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

People today are increasingly use credit card to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Due to the advent of technology, uses of credit cards have gained popularity. In my perception, the benefits of plastic money outweigh the drawbacks because not only does it improve the standard of living, but also they are at no risk of the robbery victim. Admittedly, plastic money has various negatives. One of them is being hacked. People having a credit card seem to be at a greater risk of being hacked. If any stranger comes to know the password and the card details, he will able to use it without the knowledge of end-users. Another drawback is expenses they made are not paid on the due date. To elucidate, the bank often mentions a specific time to credit card holder to make expenses they made. If they fail in making payment on time, they will be included in the list of defaulters by the banks which will affect their credit worthiness. Despite the aforementioned disadvantages, I believe credit card benefit to end-users in different ways. One of them is to get rid of being a robbery victim. To exemplify, the owner of plastic money does not require to carry a heavy liquid amount with him all the time, meaning that they tend to use the card in an emergency without worrying about cash arrangement. Another positive aspect is an improvement in the standard of living. Augmenting people seem to get loans easily from the banks to purchase household items such as washing machines, refrigerators, laptops on the monthly instalment basis. Due to this, they are able to improve their standard of living. For example, the news report from the BBC in March 2019 found that 70% from middle or lower class are able to get a better life due to easy instalment method by banking section. In conclusion, even though there are many downsides to having credit card like the risk of hacking and labelling as a defaulter, I think that better living standard and not being a victim of robbery is more imperative benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the advent of technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
have gained popularity. In my perception, the benefits of plastic money outweigh the drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are at no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of the robbery victim.

Admittedly
, plastic money has various negatives. One of them is
being hacked
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
seem to be at a greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being hacked
. If any stranger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to know the password and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, he
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it without the knowledge of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-users. Another drawback is expenses they made are not paid on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
date. To elucidate, the bank
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
mentions a specific time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
holder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
expenses they made. If they fail in making payment on time, they will
be included
in the list of defaulters by the banks which will affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
worthiness.

Despite the aforementioned disadvantages, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
benefit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-users in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. One of them is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of being a robbery victim. To exemplify, the owner of plastic money does not require to carry a heavy liquid amount with him all the time, meaning that they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
in an emergency without worrying about cash arrangement. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect is an improvement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. Augmenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
loans
easily
from the banks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
household items such as washing machines, refrigerators, laptops on the monthly
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalment' is British English.
instalment
basis.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this, they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
For example
, the news report from the BBC in March 2019 found that 70% from middle or lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to easy
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalment' is British English.
instalment
method by banking section.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
downsides to having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of hacking and labelling as a defaulter, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
and not being a victim of robbery is more imperative benefits.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay People today are increasingly use credit card to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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