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Write about the following topic: The large number of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the developme v.2

: The large number of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the developme v. 2
Growth of personal vehicle is sharply increase in half a decade. Most of household have minimum 1 private transportation like car or motorcycle. However, government nowadays spend a lot of money to reduce the main problem there is pollution. There are 2 options that government need to consider, first build new public transportation and second developing the rechargeable automobile. The advancement of public transportation could easily reduce the main problem. This transportation can also help individuals to go to another place in a cheaper price, conversely, most of society still want to use their own automobile. By using own car, we can go everywhere and anywhere easily and efficiently. On the other hand, the improvement of renewable technology could be implemented in public transportation like bus or train. These changes can help the government to reduce air pollution. It can become the alternative way for people to use own electric car or bus depends on their preference. It is a nice idea to improve the quality of automobiles in the world, but i think people still want to use their own car for their mobility. Public transportation only can be used for outcomes and the one who do not want to drive by own.
Growth of personal vehicle is
sharply
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
in half a decade.
Consider using "Most household" or "Most of the household".
Most of household
have minimum 1 private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or motorcycle.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
nowadays spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the main problem there is pollution. There are 2 options that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to consider,
first
build new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and second developing the rechargeable automobile.

The advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the main problem. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to go to another place in a cheaper price,
conversely
,
Consider using "most society" or "most of the society".
most of society
still
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
automobile. By using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, we can go everywhere and anywhere
easily
and
efficiently
.

On the other hand
, the improvement of renewable technology could
be implemented
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
like bus or train. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air pollution. It can become the alternative way for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or bus depends on their preference.

It is a nice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of automobiles in the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
for their mobility.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for outcomes and the one who do not want to drive by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay : The large number of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the developme v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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