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The large number of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the development of public transportation systems in order to help solve this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric and other types of cars that may cause less pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

The large number of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the development of public transportation systems in order to help solve this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric and other types of cars that may cause less pollution. v. 1
Nowadays, the use of private transportation has risen significantly around the world, which has caused the global warming to simultaneously increase. Some believe that the authorities should improve the public metro and bus, while others think that they need to invest in the electronic car development. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my personal opinion towards this matter. On one hand, public transportation has greatly impacted both the government and society. This is because of the fact that the ticket purchased by the citizen will directly contribute towards the national income. For instance, in 2018, when the new train line has been improved and expanded to the greater west in Sydney, Australia, the car drivers immediately dropped to 55%, while the country's GDP grew by 25% within 6 months period. Hence, providing better public transportations will benefit both the authorities and community, which directly can decrease towards the air pollution issue. On the other hand, the use of private cars is unavoidable within the society, thus investing in the alternative cars can decrease the global warming to some extent. The 'Economist Co' magazine discovered that the electronic cars company named Tesla, has greatly reduced the amount of gas-produced transportation in the U. S. A by 3, 000 drivers annually. Therefore, spending in the development of electric or other types of cars can contribute to the decrease in the air pollution issue of the country. In conclusion, the air pollution produced by cars have indeed contribute greatly to the global warming problem. In my opinion, the government should invest in the public metro and bus, as it can benefit both parties and reduced the air pollution greatly, in comparison to the alternative cars.
Nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has risen
significantly
around the world, which has caused the global warming to
simultaneously
increase.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that the authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
metro and bus, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they need to invest in the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
development. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my personal opinion towards this matter.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greatly
impacted both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and society. This is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
the ticket
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by the citizen will
directly
contribute towards the national income.
For instance
, in 2018, when the new train line has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and expanded to the greater west in Sydney, Australia, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
drivers immediately dropped to 55%, while the country's GDP grew by 25% within 6 months period.
Hence
, providing better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
will benefit both the authorities and community, which
directly
can decrease towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
issue.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is unavoidable within the society,
thus
investing in the alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can decrease the global warming to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. The 'Economist Co' magazine discovered that the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
named Tesla, has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the amount of gas-produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
in the U. S. A by 3, 000 drivers
annually
.
Therefore
, spending in the development of electric or other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can contribute to the decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
issue of the country.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
produced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have
indeed
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "contributed".
contribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greatly
to the global warming problem. In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
metro and bus, as it can benefit both parties and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greatly
,
in comparison
to the alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The large number of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the development of public transportation systems in order to help solve this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric and other types of cars that may cause less pollution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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